Expert: Ali - 10/21/2009

Question
I adopted a stray male kitten that showed up at my door last year.  I already had two female cats ages 10 and 4 and soon after adopted another 18 year old male cat from a friend in need of finding him shelter.  My youngest, "Tow Mater" is making everyone miserable.  He loves me one minute and the next he attacks me.  Every time I sit down he has to sit on top of me and insists on being pet but then he turns and bites.  When I get in the middle of his constant harassing of my other cats, he attacks be by jumping at me, scratching and biting me.  It is not uncommon at all for him to draw blood and I have several scares to prove it.  Once when I had him groomed and he came back with trimmed nails he was an angel for a week until his nails grew back.  Getting him to a groomer is hard for me because he hates it so much he once scratched his nose red by trying to get out of the carry case.  I don't think it's just the nails that make him aggressive.  It's like I can't trust him.  With all my other cats they look at me with love.  Tow Mater's eyes look crazy  and I am always on guard around him.  He behaves a little better when my husband is around but even he has witnessed tow mater lunge at me when he didn't get his way.  I just want all my cats to be happy and tow's is taking that away from them.

Answer
Monica,

I'd like to start off by saying that I don't believe that this situation is hopeless, there are many common causes of behaviors that you've described and with time, patience, love and some holistic care they can be completely overcome or changed to the point that they're nowhere near as severe. Clearly this kitty has some issues with territory and dominance which leaves me with a few serious questions that I'd like to have answers to before I make any recommendations - the more information I have the easier it will be to help you and Tom Mater, so please, don't worry about being overly wordy, often times the answers for dealing with behavioral issues lie in the details.

- Are you willing to give working with Tow Mater an honest shot if I‘m able to provide the tools to help deal with his behavioral issues (possibly in combination with a holistic vet and a behaviorist)?

- How old was this little guy when you brought him into your home?

- How did you introduce Tow Mater to the other cats when he was adopted into your family?

- How old is Tow Mater now?

- How long have you seen this aggressive behavior towards human family members and other cats?

- Has this kitty been vet checked to be sure that he hasn't got anything medical going on that might cause or contribute to his behavioral issues?

- How do you react when Tow Mater misbehaves?

- Are you afraid of Tow Mater?

- Do you get angry or frustrated with his aggressive behavior towards you or the other cats?

- How does your husband deal with Tow that’s different from how you do (if I understand you correctly Tow doesn’t do this to your hubby)?

- Exactly how does the average sequence of events play out when Tow Mater becomes aggressive with other cats in your household or people who interact with him?

- Is there anything that you can think of that might suggest that Tow Mater was abused prior to coming into your home (abused cats are far more likely to use their claws and teeth inappropriately)?

- Would you consider seeking the advice of a holistic vet, homeopath, acupuncturist or other "alternative" health care provider? Many times holistic treatments (sometimes this means a combination of conventional and alternative therapies) can hold the answer to health and behavioral issues, it's certainly an avenue well worth pursuing in my experience.

- Have you considered temporarily separating Tow Mater from the rest of the cats in the household (I'm guessing they all get along and there aren't any other behavioral issues that you're aware of)?

- Are you prepared to consider investing in one or more consultations with a veterinary behaviorist (preferably one who specializes in feline behavioral issues) for Tow?

- Would you be interested in learning how to do Tow's nail care in your own home?

In this situation it might be empowering for you to learn how to do Tow's nails safely and effectively at home. It won't likely be a simple task if you've grown afraid of or angry with Tow, animals sense negative energy and can react badly to it especially when they're already a bit high strung. Trimming Tow's nails at home means that he won't endure the stress of a trip to the groomer. Using Soft Paws (or Soft Claws, essentially the same product marketed under a different brand) may help to diffuse his aggressive behavior somewhat since scratching you or his house mates won't be possible for awhile if they're applied properly. It's extremely important to prepare for this properly if you decide to try - I'd recommend a two person approach, your husband can hold Tow while you trim his nails and apply the nail caps, kitty will have to stay put for several minutes with your hubby til the glue sets, but it may help to bring Tow's aggressive behavior down a notch or two. You need to keep your cool if you decide to do this, don't think about past events that have led to this point, approach the situation with an image in your mind of Tow sitting still, you keeping calm, trimming the nails, applying the caps and being a good kitty afterwards.but it also means you'll have to keep your cool, be calm, assertive and prepared to provide instant feedback to this kitty when he gets it wrong and behaves badly.

- Has anyone played with Tow using their hands, feet or any other body part?

- Do the cats have toys that they can play with while interacting with you (kitty tease, kitten mitten, laser light, etc) as well as independently (toy mice, catnip toys, etc)?

- How often do the cats in your home get catnip?

- Does Tow’s aggressive behavior get worse in the presence of food, toys, attention or other resources?

Hopefully with answers to these questions I can get a clearer picture of what’s going on with Tow and why he’s behaving badly. Once I know why Tow’s behavioral issues are happening and hopefully when and how they started I’ll be able to give you some guidance in terms of basic behavioral exercises that you can start doing while you wait to see a holistic vet and a behaviorist. I don’t think that there’s any question that Tow’s rehabilitation will take some time, dedication, commitment and patience, but it is truly possible to have him become a happy, healthy, functional member of your family if you’re prepared to start working with him. I am fully prepared to support and guide you through this whole process if necessary. Normally I don’t do this, but I am prepared to offer extra support via personal emails - I can send you videos or photos of how to do nail care with a difficult kitty, appropriate ways of effectively communicating with Tow so that he understands his behavior isn’t acceptable any longer, etc. I‘ve always found myself rooting for the underdog (cat in many cases) and I sense that you have become fearful and frustrated with Tow Mater‘s behavior and I understand that - I do think that it‘s possible for Tow to change given appropriate behavioral therapy and I‘m willing to be a part of that whole process. I look forward to hearing from you with regards to the questions listed above, the sooner I have the information the sooner I can help you to get started on the right path with Tow so that he learns to behave well within your home.