Expert: Norman Auspitz - 11/11/2009

Question
HI Norman,

About a month ago I had to put my 3 year old female kitty to sleep due to intestinal damage she suffered from ingesting cat condo fibres. It was heartbreaking and she left behind her companion of the last 2. 5 years a fawn male tabby. They both came into my life and home on the exact same day and now Holden is on his own. He has never known life without a companion. As I am in and out of the house a lot, I thought it wise to bring in a companion for him. So last Sunday after much back and forth, I opened our home to a one year female DLH. She is the sweetest thing and is a rescue kitty. In her young life, she has already had two litters.  She needed a good safe home with a pal since at her foster's home I think she was a little bored and lonely.

Now to come to my dilemna. Today is day three of the integration. For most of that time they have been residing in separare rooms- I have a one bedroom apartment- with periodic glimpses and sightings of each other( while I hold onto one).  The outright hissing and spitting has stopped. Unfortunately,the first night they met, things got off to a rocky start and a full out bar brawl took place. Fortunately, none is worse for the wear, but perhaps a couple of noises are still out of joint.  My concern is for both and i cannot go on living indefinitley keeping them separate like this.  I am also leaving for vacation on November 222nd for a week and would like to have the situation resolved by then- if not a little earlier.  The foster has agreed to take the little girl back if things are not jiving. I feel for her given her rough start in life.  She still seems quite stressed when she sees my male tabby. He is coming around.  

My question- how long do I give before it is evident that they are not compatible?

Answer
Isabel,

Things are not as bad as they seem.  Cats need to go through a "getting to know you" ritual that can sound just like World War III.  Fortunately, most cats will not really do damage to each other.  Also, remember, they have very, very tough skin and can take a lot of biting/scratching with no harm at all!!!!! As well, remember cats do not think as we do, so be careful not to ascribe human emotions and motives to things cats do (except, they do get jealous). So, I would let them run and ignore the fall out.  If they play chase, even if it ends up in a mock "fight", this is a good sign.

I have two rules about cat inter-relationships: (1) All human interference is counter-productive and prolongs the "getting to know you" rituals, and (2) We have no idea how cats determine how they are going to inter-react with each other.  Thus, once they are together, do not separate them, do not discipline either of them, ignore their "discussions".

A couple things you might want to do is to have separate litter pans until you know their won't be a territorial thing over litter pans.  Give your established cat extra treats and affection when you let them together so he won't get too jealous (maybe he will think her arrival is a good thing.

Finally, it may take a couple of weeks for things to settle down, so be patient with the situation.

Please let me know how things turn out.

Best regards... Norm.