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Cats/my cat hates me now, help!

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Expert: - 11/15/2009


Question
I have a 10 month old male cat (neutered) and he always loves me. He sleeps with me; follows me everywhere I go in the house.

I work long hours so I thought it will be good to have another cat in the house so they can give each other company.

Today I brought home a 2 month old female kitten, but things are not going very well.

My older one seems to be very scared of the kitten, he has been hiding in the corner of the bathroom since. However the worst is he hates me now! He won't let me touch him; he hisses at me and scratches me when I try to pet him. It never happened before!!! I've washed my hands so many times but it doesn't help at all.

I know two cats don't normally get along straight away. I'm now just heartbroken because he seems to hate me very much!! He is okay with my husband touching him, probably because I was the one who was holding the kitten when we got home.

It has been the whole afternoon. Please let me know what's going on here and how I can get that sweet boy back. Thanks.  

Answer
Lee,

Your cat does not hate you, his nose is just a bit out of joint.  You have to give this kind of thing more than a couple of hours, more like a few days to a few weeks for everything to settle down.  Meanwhile, your strategy with the established cat is to ignore him until he is ready for your affection. Do not approach him or try to pick him up, let him come to you when he is ready. It is important for him to think your attentiveness is his idea!

So, if you are patient and let the two kittens come to terms with each other and just wait the whole thing out, he should come around.  

Best regards... Norm.  

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Norman Auspitz

Expertise

I can answer most non-veterinary questions about cats. My particular expertise is pedigree cats, breeding and showing. However, I am versed in feline behavior, cat breeds and their characteristics, general feline husbandry, and the like.

Experience

I judged for the Canadian Cat Association from 1975 until 1982. I am currently an approved allbreed judge for the Cat Fanciers'' Association (the world''s largets cat registry), and have been judging for them since 1991. I have been breeding pedigreed cats since 1971 and have been exhibiting pedigreed cats in shows since 1970. I obtained my first pedigreed cat in 1970 and have never looked back. In 1971, I obtained my first Abyssinian which has become my primary breed. In addition, I have bred Manx and Persians. Currently, besides the Abyssinians, I am also breeding Maine Coons.


Organizations
Cat Fanciers'' Association, inc. (CFA) and the Manx, Maine Coon, and Abyssinian breed councils. I am currently Abyssinian breed council secretary.

Publications
Cat Fancy Magazine, The Abyssinian Chapter in The Cat Fanciers'' Association Complete Cat Book, and Articles for various editions of The Cat Fanciers'' Association Yearbook

Education/Credentials
I received a B.S. from Drexel University in 1968, a M.Math from University of Waterloo, in 1970, a Ph.D. from University of Waterloo in 1975, and a MBA from McMaster University in 1980. I received my approved allbreed judging status in the Cat Fanciers'' Association in 1999.

Awards and Honors
We have produced a number of Cat Fanciers'' Association (CFA) National winning Abyssinian and Maine Coons. We have produced a number of Abyssinian and Maine Coon Distinguished Merit females (an award for a top producing cat), including the first Distinguished Merit Abyssinian in the red (sorrel) color. I am the CFA Abyssinian breed council secretary and belong and/or hold office in a number of cat clubs. I am also a member of the CFA Judges Association.

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