Expert: Jessica - 11/29/2009

Question
hi jessica

my cat stays with my mom (3 hours' drive from us) as my partner's 2 cats and my one don't see eye to eye, despite trying all the tricks to integrate them; it is, however, an excellent arrangement as my cat loves my mom (and vice versa) and enjoys a fabulous lifestyle and i see her whenever i go to visit - my mom, however, is going on holiday for 6 weeks and refuses to let MY cat come stay with us, as she feels very possessive about her, despite the fact that we have worked out a good plan to do "time-sharing" between our two cats and my "mom's" cat, i.e. keeping them in separate areas in the house, letting them outside in turns, etc. my cat (staying with my mom) has a fabulous personality, extremely adaptable and is more person-bound than location-bound, which makes it easy to settle her in different places - thus, the question is, how can i convince my mom that it will be far safer & better for my cat to come stay with us for the 6 weeks, than at home with a stranger (who has no transport to get her to a vet in case of an emergency)?

i hope you will be able to assist
kind regards & thank you in advance
christelle

Answer
Hi Christelle.  Hmmm, sounds like this will take some work!  I'm not certain there's anything I can say that will convince your mom if she's already got her mind made up, but try to get her to think like the cat.  Your mom disappears for 6 weeks and the cat is left with a stranger, the cat is going to grieve as though she has lost all the family she's ever known.  As far as she knows, she has.  Six weeks is a long time to be missing a companion, long enough to allow a deep depression to set in, as well as the behavioral problems that come along with it.  This can include anorexia, self-mutilation (licking and chewing until they make themselves bleed) and drastic mood changes as well as house soiling.  And depression doesn't necessarily correct itself once life goes back to normal.

If your kitty goes to live with you, she may, indeed, be a little confused.  But it's proven that cats who go through life's changes with a known companion deal with them far better than those who go through them alone.  If the cat goes through your mother's holiday with you to comfort her, even if she is in new surroundings, I do believe it will be much easier for her.  

And your points about being able to watch out for her health are of paramount importance.  Imagine if she were to fall ill.  Cats mask their sickness so well, it's difficult enough for their owners to guess when they're feeling under the weather.  A stranger, who is not used to the cat, will NEVER be able to pick up on the subtle signs of illness in a cat they don't know.  Even if the stranger were to be able to work out a ride somehow, I'd be skeptical they'd know when to do so.  It's no insult to the pet sitter, it's just that one must know the personality of the cat in order to know when the cat's personality is off.

I hope your mom will see the light and that your kitty spends her holiday with you!

Jessica