Expert: Ali - 5/27/2009

Question
I'm moving in with my boyfriend he has two cats and I have one.  He thinks that it would be less stress on my part simaese cat if I take her over for a weekend and then take her home is this really the best way?

Answer
Jessica,

I wouldn't suggest having your kitty spend a weekend at your boyfriend's house as a way to prepare her for living there, that will increase her anxiety and cause the move to be more stressful. It's best to go about properly introducing her to the cats already in residence when you move into your boyfriend's home. Cats are significantly different from dogs in terms of their social development which means that introducing cats should be done gradually to minimize the risk of injury to all cats involved. Cats are very territorial and they aren't fond of sudden changes within their environment - this includes introducing your cat into a household where two other cats live too quickly.

I normally recommend that a cat coming into a home with resident cats be confined to a room behind a closed door for 2-3 weeks. You'll need to provide your kitty with a comfy place to sleep, food, water, toys and attention so that she doesn't become lonely or jealous of the two other cats. Isolating your kitty in a room on her own will allow the cats to gradually become familiar with each other before they meet face to face. The reason I've suggested that you isolate your little girl is because she's the new kid being introduced to the two cats already living in this household. If you try to introduce your kitty to your boyfriend's two cats without proper introductions there's a good chance that the two resident cats will fight with her to defend their territory and I wouldn't want to see anyone get hurt when it's usually preventable.

While your baby girl is in isolation it's important to allow the resident cats to become comfortable to her scent. You may find the following exercise useful:

- rub your kitty all over with a clean hand towel
- rub the first resident cat all over with the towel containing
 your girl's scent
- use the same towel to rub your cat all over
- then rub the second resident cat
- end the towel rubs with your cat

You could also switch kitty beds/litter boxes between the three cats so that the beds smell like all three cats. It's important that you don't try to rush things because that could increase the chances of one or more kitties behaving badly which isn't something you want. It's a good idea to feed the three cats treats and regular meals on opposite sides of a closed door during the time your kitty is confined. This allows the cats to associate each other's scents with something positive - food. If the room your kitty is kept in during the introduction process has a paw sized gap at the bottom you'll begin noticing the cats playing with each other under that door. This is sometimes an indicator that it's time to try a face to face meeting, but I wouldn't suggest doing so before 2 weeks have passed.

You may find that your cat's introduction to your boyfriend's two cats will be easier for everyone if you use a homeopathic remedy called Bach's Rescue Remedy which is a blend of flower essences designed to calm and reassure. I've used Bach flower essences for well over 10 years and found them to be safe and effective. Rescue Remedy is a very general remedy that's good for all types of fear or anxiety. I'd suggest adding 7-10 drops to a bowl of clean, fresh water every morning for your cat and your boyfriend's cats starting the day before you combine your households. Other Bach flower remedies you might find useful include:

- mimulus, this remedy helps to alleviate specific fears, in this case fear of the future

- holly, this works well with jealous cats

I would also suggest that you and your partner consider seeking the advice of an experienced holistic veterinarian to learn more about drug free alternatives that are safe, effective and often less expensive than drugs. It's important to remember that only providing alternative therapies aren't a substitute for the care provided by your veterinarian and these treatments may not be appropriate in all situations, sometimes holistic care is used to increase the effectiveness of traditional medicine and treatments. A holistic vet is trained in conventional medicine as well as one or more alternative therapies which could include homeopathy, massage or herbal medicine to name a few options. My family vet is an excellent holistic vet and she uses homeopathy in her practice - I've seen some pretty amazing results over the years. The advantage of treating cats with homeopathic medicine is that if the wrong remedy is given you won't see any difference, the wrong drugs could cause serious adverse effects. Homeopathy can sometimes be a bit like peeling an onion - you cure one symptom only to find another underneath, however once you've fixed all the different symptoms you can keep your kitty problem free with proper nutrition and care.

When you introduce the cats face to face for the first time I'd recommend being ready to intervene if a serious fight breaks out. I keep a squirt bottle, broom and large, heavy towel handy in case things don't go well. It's best not to get in between cats when they're fighting because there's a good chance you'll get scratched or bitten in the heat of the moment. Sometimes being squirted with water separates the cats, other times it doesn't. If you've squirted fighting kitties and they haven't paid any attention you can use the broom to gently guide the cats away from each other and put your kitty back into her room. It's not unusual to see some posturing between cats even when they've been properly introduced. Some hissing, growling and swats are normal, the cats have to figure out where everyone fits into the feline hierarchy so unless things get nasty it's best to keep an eye out and let things happen naturally. If the two resident cats corner your kitty or gang up on her it's best to stop that from continuing and try the introductions another day. If you have problems like this you might find that stacking baby gates so that the cats can't jump over them or get under them works well - it allows the cats to see, smell, hear and touch each other while preventing serious injuries. If you'd like any further information about the proper way to introduce cats or you'd like me to clarify something I'm willing to help you to the best of my ability.