Expert: Norman Auspitz - 7/31/2009

Question
I recently acquired two 8 week old half siamese/half himalayan kittens,(1 male and 1 female)for my two teenage daughters.  We had recently lost a beloved 6 month old himalayan kitten through a tragic accident, and our family has had several other cats through the years.  However, I am having a problem with these two cats I have never had.  It is very important to my older daughter especially that her cat "bonds" with her like Macy did.  Perhaps I made a mistake in getting littermates, because these kittens do not like to be held really at all.  They do everything together, and if I try and separate them, the male especially will whine until I reunite them. My daughters would like to be able to at least hold them long enough to brush them for a few minutes, but they won't allow even that.  I have never seen cats that were so averse to being held. They are healthy, and we have had them for about a week now.  What do you think?

Answer
Holly,

At age 8 weeks, kittens are too busy to bond with anyone except their siblings.  The good news is that they do outgrow this stage, so by 12 weeks, they should be ready to bond.

The problem you have is that you cannot force the issue.  The kittens will bond with whomsoever they want!  Also, your approach will not work with either kitten.

What your daughters need to do is to sit around with the kittens and wait for the kittens to approach one or the other of them.  They can gently pet one or the other kitten.  If the kitten wants more attention it will ask for it.  Bonding always works better when the kitten or cat thinks it is their idea!  So, no approaching the kittens, no holding the kittens, unless they ask to be held (you will know when they do this). In fact one way I have been able to encourage cats that were stand offish is to totally ignore them.

For all this to work, your daughters must be consistent in their approach and behavior towards the kittens.  It will take some time (a week is not nearly enough time, in this case). Any deviation from the above approach will put things right back to the beginning.

Please let me know how it goes.

Best regards... Norm.