Expert: Ali - 10/18/2010

Question
I'm worried my cat may like me a bit too much. Aria is usually a sweetie to me, gives kisses, head butts, etc. She was spayed by her previous owner, (who is female) and "adopted" me when her former owner and her lived with me briefly. Now, several months later, Aria is becoming increasingly hostile to women. Even her former owner, my friend's young daughter, and my mother! Can a spayed cat be in heat? Do I need to socialize her somehow? (It's just her and me in my house.) I like her very much, and would like to not worry about her being jealous (?) of other women!

On a side note, she doesn't mind it when males come over. In fact, sometimes she will sit on another male lap even if it's the first time she's met him. (!)

Help?

Answer
David,

It sounds to me like Aria has bonded pretty tightly to you and I think she's not overly keen on sharing your attention with any other women in your life...There's a remote possibility that when Aria was spayed the veterinarian unintentionally left behind a tiny piece of one of her ovaries, but I really don't think that this behaviour is hormonally driven - I think that ultimately she's decided that you belong to her and she doesn't want to share you with anyone who might resemble competition in her mind...I'm guessing that your interactions with male friends are somewhat different than they are with female friends and Aria senses that. There are some homeopathic remedies that I think would settle Aria's jealousy and possessiveness down somewhat. I always keep a number of Bach flower remedies in the house and I've found that they work amazingly well. Some remedies you might want to consider for this little girl include:

~ Beech - helps a cat adjust to a new environment
~ Walnut - also for transitions

These two remedies are often used together and they tend to work quite well for a kitty whose life circumstances have changed as Aria's have.

~ Tiger Lily - for animals that tend to bite and/or snap. It will help them to let go of their aggression and be markedly less hostile.

~ Holly - a great remedy for jealous cats so if jealousy is the issue you'll see a great improvement in Aria's behaviour pretty quickly with this remedy.

~ Chicory - which is great for possessive animals.

~ Vine - works to tone down dominance which could be another reason for Aria's less than welcoming behaviour with your female guests.

~ Cherry Plum - This is a great remedy for cats who bite or become aggressive with other pets or people in their environment.

~ Chestnut Bud - This is a great remedy to help break bad habits and since I don't know how long Aria's been behaving this way I figured I'd include this in the list of remedies that might be helpful for her.

First and foremost, it's important to realize that you absolutely do NOT need to go out and buy every single remedy on this list. Homeopathic remedies work best if you administer them one at a time for a few days at a time then watch for behavioural changes over the course of a couple of weeks or so before deciding to administer any new remedies. In this case I'd start off looking at the following remedies as being most likely to help settle things down between Aria and your guests: cherry plum, vine and tiger lily. The simplest way to administer these remedies is by picking one starting with it, administering 3-4 drops of that remedy two to three times daily for 4 days, stopping that remedy, watching and documenting changes in behaviour over the course of 2-4 weeks and then if necessary proceeding with the next remedy in line.

I generally suggest not giving these remedies orally because they are preserved in alcohol and cats really don’t like the smell or taste of alcohol, instead I’ve found that gently massaging the remedy a drop at a time into the relatively fur free areas of your kitty’s ears is effective and much better received than holding them down to give them anything orally. You can also rub a drop or two of the remedy your kitty’s getting into the fur of her forehead, just be aware that you don’t want to put anything inside of her ears or risk having the remedy run into her eyes because it will burn so anything you do with the remedies has to be carefully planned out and done when Aria is calm and relaxed such as during cuddle time. The reason for this approach is that you minimize the stress to the cat by only asking her system to respond to one thing at a time and once you know what remedy works best you can repeat it in future if you need to.

I would also encourage you to put some basic rules into effect for your visitors - tell them that Aria is in training and that they are not to look at, speak to or touch her unless she’s coming to them and soliciting their attention in a calm and polite manner with nice relaxed body language. The moment she turns off the charm and sweetness she’s to be ignored and if necessary removed from the situation by placing her in a “safe” room that you’ll set up for her which simply provides her with a quiet time out room of sorts where she’s got access to toys, water, a clean litter pan and some solitude. You can time her out for 5-10 minutes at a time, but she may need longer to cool off depending on her personality (some cats I’ve known take as long as 30-45 minutes to settle down once they’ve become agitated enough to respond aggressively with people or other pets in the household, it all depends on their individual make up).

Before getting into any major behaviour modification techniques I’m interested to hear how Aria’s behaviour improves and how she responds to treatment over the course of the next little while with homeopathic remedies overall so please keep me posted about Aria’s progress and I’ll certainly make any additional recommendations that are necessary along the way. If you have any further questions or concerns about cats in the future please don’t hesitate to contact me again - I’m happy to do absolutely anything that I can to help you and Aria form a lasting friendship and help Aria to accept your friends with a little less drama and a lot less ouch!