Expert: Ali - 10/15/2010

Question
Could use advise on taming 10 week old kittens.  Have had them for 4 weeks.  1st week not much touching interaction, 2nd week built pen, 3rd week got sick and had to catch and take to vet (BIG SET BACK) but all are healthy now and starting to trust me again. Keeping them in the pen in the garage, unfortunately, don't have a separate room in the house for them.  One is a love, two are accepting petting and beginning to accept being picked up.  Two don't want to be touched. They will play with me, sit on my lap & accept food from my finger but don't want to be touched.  Worried about adopting them out if I can't pick them up.  Should I separate them?  Thank you for any advice you can offer.

Answer
Kris,

Congratulations on the new arrivals, I know that this can be a tough road. I can promise you that this will be time and labor intensive as well as being an emotional roller coaster of sorts, but even after all of that I can also promise you that the rewards far outweigh the difficulties whether you opt to adopt these babies out to permanent loving families or keep them as members of your own household. These babies are definitely NOT hopeless cases, this is a situation where you'll need to be sensitive to the fact that this is all new to them and in cats as with people new situations are kind of scary and they don't always bring out the best in us (or our pets).

This situation is definitely not unique, it's something that I've dealt with many times over the years in a variety of ways ranging from taming feral cats and kittens to helping four legged feline victims of abuse, neglect, abandonment and/or physical, psychological or emotional trauma and while it's tough to see such fear in the faces of innocent little beings it's well worth being the person that helps them to trust people for the first time in their lives or regain their trust in people after being victimized by people. I can promise that there are days when you're going to feel like you're not making any progress, you may also wonder if you're doing the right thing by these little ones but there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel if you are willing and able to dedicate the time, love, patience and gentle persistance to their rehabilitation process. In my time as an expert on this website I've answered a number of questions from pet parents who have rescued fearful strays, feral cats/kittens or even feline victims of horrifying abuse, trauma and/or neglect and essentially the rehabilitation process is similar for each of these situations. Simply broken down it comes to this:

~ Be patient, this isn't going to happen overnight - it's a process that can sometimes take weeks or even months depending on a variety of factors ranging from the amount of time and energy you have to devote to working with these guys to their personality types and genetic make up. Don't rush things, if you push too far too fast you can risk creating a situation where it's incredibly difficult to regain the trust of these furry kids. It's much easier on everyone to take things at a snail's pace and allow the little ones to show and tell you what they're ready for and when they're ready for it.

~ Homeopathy is a wonderful tool that can create miraculous progress in a relatively short period of time in cats and kittens who are fearful and/or anxious around people. I always keep Bach flower remedies in my home because they're gentle, reasonably inexpensive, they don't have side effects and most of all they WORK incredibly well. I'd recommend starting off with kind of a catch all remedy called Rescue Remedy that Bach makes specifically to help alleviate anxiety, reassure fearful beings (with four legs or two) and this remedy provides access to tear down some of the thicker walls that these babies have built up as a result of their fear and anxiety. From what other questioners have told me there is a formula of Rescue Remedy specifically designed for pets, however I can't speak to the effectiveness of that remedy because I've always used the original version of Rescue Remedy (which can be purchased at virtually any health food store for roughly $15 CAN for the larger bottle which may seem like a lot, but the bottle will last for some time).

Rescue Remedy contains a mixture of 5 remedies; Rock Rose to help cope with terror and fear, Impatiens which helps to alleviate impatience, Cherry Plum which deals specifically with the fear of one's mind giving way, Star of Bethlehem to help with the shock of any traumatic event (in this case the loss of mom and undergoing a rehabilitation process) and Clematis which helps to keep one present in the moment rather than allowing us to dream of the future without working in the present moment. There are some other remedies worth trying as time goes on, but try to be conscious of the fact that you don't want to overload their systems - they've got enough going on right now. Some remedies that you may want to consider include: Aspen - fear of unknown things & constant anxiety, Beech - intolerance of other animals, people or changes in routine, Elm - for cats that are easily overwhelmed or stressed, Mimulus - for specific fears, Star of Bethlehem - for emotional trauma, physical trauma, shock and/or a need for comfort, Walnut - for cats who are experiencing changes in their lives like going into a new environment, transitioning from outdoor to indoor, etc, Water Violet - for loners, grieving cats or reclusive cats

Ideally you want to keep your remedies to one at a time, give the remedy for a few days, stop giving it then watch for improvements in each kitten's behaviour and demeanor over the space of a week or two (preferably at least two weeks between remedies is good) then move ahead with another remedy if necessary. Homeopathic remedies don't work on the same principal as Western pharmaceutical drugs - the changes that remedies create aren't instant, but the remedies go to the source of the problem to correct it meaning that the right remedy given to the right person or pet at the right time for the right reason in the right dosage will fix an issue rather than suppressing it. Don't worry about hurting the kittens if they happen to get a remedy they won't need because the reality is that if they don't need the remedy it won't affect them.

The biggest advice I have for you is to take things very slowly and be patient. These babies will need time and it's generally best to let them come to you in my experience - as you've noticed you lose ground when you push things too far by catching them. At this point if you want to help reduce some of the anxiety they're experiencing naturally you can do a few different things - you can give them a space to hide like a cardboard box so that they don't feel so vulnerable (trust me, over time they won't rely on it so much, but it sounds like they need that extra bit of security at this point), you can line the box with a few dirty t-shirts or a dirty towel so that they can begin to associate your scent with the comfort they give to each other which will be positive in the long term. It is crucial to find a veterinarian that's willing to be patient and work within the trust levels that these babies have at any given point because if you are forced to continue breaching their trust when they're not ready for it you'll continue to have set backs. I wouldn't suggest separating these babies just yet - right now they are each others' sources of security and it's still early in their rehabilitation process and you don't want to shake them up anymore than you absolutely have to while you're laying the foundation of getting them to trust you first then other people (this process can take weeks or months just so you're aware of this up front).

In my time as an expert I've answered a fair number of questions on the subject of helping fearful strays, young ferals, abused, neglected and traumatized cats of all ages to overcome their fear and mistrust of people so my recommendation would be to check out my previous answers on taming ferals and dealing with abused/traumatized cats/kittens because ultimately the process you'll need to work through in order to help these babies gain trust in you and other humans is going to be much the same for these fearful babies as it would be if they'd been badly abused/neglected or otherwise traumatized by people or other serious events in their lives. Everything right now is about keeping the longer term goals in mind while accomplishing baby steps via simple short term goals - you want to gain their trust and allow them to understand that they aren't going to be forced into loving you (or other humans, but start small for now and just confine their people experiences to one or two adults - no kids for the moment, these babies just aren't ready for that right now) - once they realize that they have a choice in the matter you'll notice that they relax a bit and come around in their own time.

To be successful at rehabilitating these babies to the point that they can be adopted into permanent loving homes you will need to dedicate as much of your spare time as you possibly can to simply being present with these little guys in a non-threatening capacity (such as doing work on a laptop that requires your focus as you sit on the floor in their room, reading a book, doing a crossword puzzle, etc - cats are naturally curious and in my experience their curiosity will eventually bring them out of their shells and it usually happens more quickly if they make the choice to interact with you rather than the other way around). When you’re dealing with fearful strays, feline victims of abuse/neglect/trauma or feral cats of any age they need to feel like they have some control over the situation and trying to force the issue of contact can sometimes drive them further into themselves and make it difficult or even impossible to bring them back out of their shells. I’m not going to lie to you - this isn’t going to be all about sunshine and daisies, there are going to be days when you are at your wit’s end, when you wonder if these babies will ever come around and these natural questions may drive you to the point of tears from time to time, but I can promise you based on my experience that if you’re patient and willing to take the most difficult step in this journey (having the patience to wait out a cat until their curiosity overtakes them) then this will be an amazing and incredibly rewarding experience as these babies are rehabilitated, learn to trust people completely and either become a permanent part of your household or are placed into permanent loving families.

It has been my experience that formerly feral cats are typically incredibly loyal pets once they bond with someone, but if you are planning to adopt these babies out to friends and family members there are a few basics to keep in mind:

~ These kittens are more sensitive than your typical kitten and while all domestic cats do retain some wildness about themselves former feral kitties often have a bit more of the wild in their hearts than kittens who were raised as domestic pets from birth. This means that you should really discourage people from adopting these babies on basis of what color they are or what the pattern of their coat is - it’s best if these little ones “click” with their human caregivers so although it sounds a bit nutty allowing them to choose their families will be better for everyone concerned. I would encourage you to tell any potential adopters that these kittens are special, they are rehabilitated feral kittens and in the right home with people who are aware of their unique start in life and willing to be patient with them these kittens will be perfectly loving, loyal and safe pets. I know it sounds odd, but these are special kittens who have come into your life for a special purpose and they will most definitely leave an incredibly special mark on the hearts of the families that they choose - they just need a special connection to the people who will become their family members to bond as closely with them as they will have bonded with you by the time they’re ready to move from your home and heart into someone else’s if you should choose to part with them once they’ve been rehabilitated.

~ Although it’s a bad idea for any kitten to be adopted then bounced from home to home these babies will do very poorly if this happens to them, depending on the way that changes are made if they have to be re-homed at any point in their lives they may revert to their more fearful way of being…If at all possible these babies should go into homes where the trust they build with their new family won’t be shattered by being seen as disposable commodities that can simply be given away when the novelty of their presence wears off. I definitely understand that life can throw people curveballs beyond their control, but try to pick prospective adopters who are willing to provide references from their family veterinarian that prove that they keep their pets for a lifetime and not just for awhile. It’s not unreasonable to ask people who want to adopt these babies for permission to contact their family veterinarian for a reference, especially given the unique situation that these babies are coming from…You don’t want to rehabilitate these kittens and adopt them into a new home only to have them be bounced from home to home as their trust in people erodes with each disappointment they‘re exposed to. Although most private citizens who opt to foster and rehabilitate stray or feral cats and kittens don‘t generally ask potential adopters for references this is certainly a situation where you want to know the true reasons that people want these babies and you definitely want to be absolutely certain that these babies are going into a safe, stable environment where they can bond with their new human guardians and live out the remainder of their lives being spoiled rotten in peace and comfort.

When I‘m fostering cats or kittens on my own that I intend to adopt out I do ask potential adopters for a personal reference and a reference from their family veterinarian and it has been my experience that anyone who doesn’t want to provide a reference usually has a good reason for not wanting to give out this information…If someone truly wants to adopt one or more of these kittens they’re not going to be put off by you making a quick phone call to a family member/friend and their family veterinarian just to confirm that the kitten(s) they want to adopt are going to the right family.  Remember, aside from pet stores who sell animals (which I think is completely inappropriate given the fact that pets are sentient beings that come with an inherent responsibility and retailers tend not to be overly choosy about the “breeders” they buy from or the home environment that they sell these pets into - their focus is all about profit, not the wellbeing of the animal in spite of what they might say to the contrary) any other agency that adopts homeless pets out absolutely requires at least a veterinary reference and usually one or more personal references that they check into before you can bring your new family member home.

These babies are special and they are going to touch your life in ways that you probably don’t realize yet as you walk through the process of allowing them to learn to trust people with them and speaking from personal experience I can honestly say that this is definitely one situation where the more time and effort you put in with these babies the better your results will be, in fact depending on the personality types of each kitten within the litter you may notice that the more time and energy you devote to loving these babies the faster they come around but again each kitten within the litter is an individual and as such their rehabilitation will progress in a unique way for each of these babies. I can also say without a doubt that in spite of your best intentions to find these babies loving permanent homes after they’ve learned to trust and are comfortable with people you may decide that you simply can’t part with them because truthfully you invest so much of your time, energy and heart into them that it can feel like you’re cutting off a limb when you’re placing them with their forever family. I can say this though, this journey will be an incredible one, there will be plenty of ups, downs and dramatic events, but overall I think that you've got a fantastic start in terms of having these guys being willing to take food directly from your hands, hopefully the guidance that I’ve provided in my previous answers will help your babies to turn another corner in the process of their rehabilitation….It has been my experience that the approach I’ve developed over countless years (and that I generally recommend pet parents rehabilitating fearful/feral cats and kittens use) might take a bit longer than some approaches you’ve read about online or in books BUT I’ve found that a gentler approach tends to yield more consistent results because these kitties are actively choosing to interact with you, they aren't being forced to accept handling before they‘re ready. The whole point of being present with the kittens in a non-confrontational manner is to allow their curiosity to overtake them to the point where they’re actively climbing all over you, pushing themselves between you and your chosen distraction and insisting that you pay attention to them (even going so far as to shove their heads under your hands to get you to pet them) and while it does take some time it’s important to remember that this approach works actively within a cat’s natural make up - cats are absolutely nosy by nature and when they begin to realize that you are completely non-threatening they will be driven to explore you and as this happens they will eventually do their best to push you to give them pets, scratches and cuddles.

My approach also takes advantage of using a cat’s nature to rehabilitate them. While people are big on eye contact in feline society direct eye contact is considered confrontational (essentially you’re dominating another cat or getting ready to get physical with them if you’re making direct eye contact) which is why I recommend distracting yourself and having any other adult who is a part of the rehabilitation process by doing something that completely removes your focus from the kittens. I also suggest that any adult who comes into contact with these kittens at this stage has a clear mind, is completely mentally calm and physically relaxed because animals are much more sensitive to the energy around them than many people are and you don’t want these guys to pick up on any anxious energy you or anyone else who is interacting with them at this stage might have since this can delay their progress. Taking the time to relax via meditation or other means is a great habit to develop and a wonderful way to increase your own health and wellbeing because it allows you to clear your mind and simply be present in the moment without anxiety or tension. Being relaxed before going into the room where these little ones are housed will also increase the speed at which they move forward beyond their current fearful and anxious state. Devoting a specific amount of time to these little ones a few times a day and maintaining the routine as much as possible will be quite helpful because the kittens will eventually understand that they can expect certain things to happen at certain times which will lead them one step closer to trusting people since routines make humans more predictable which makes the kittens feel safer. Bribery is something that just about any pet responds well to and fearful pets are no exception once they’re comfortable and confident enough to take food in the presence of people and directly from people. Using special treats that aren’t mainstays of their diet is generally what I do because I’ve found that just like people pets like a little variety in their treats and snacks. Personal experience has led me to use foods ranging from:

- Kentucky Fried Chicken which allowed me to create an instant bond with a severely abused and extremely fearful older kitten (about 8-9 months old at the time which is beyond that crucial early socialization period within the first 12 weeks of life)

- Cooked chicken/turkey breast pureed with broth

- Sardines packed in spring water (never oil because it creates issues with nutrient absorption in cats)

- Tuna (either plain sushi, canned low sodium tuna or fresh tuna cooked in your own kitchen)

- salmon (again plain sushi quality, low sodium canned or fresh salmon fillets cooked at home)

- plain unsweetened organic yogurt (actually good for a cat’s digestive system in small amounts and unlikely to cause stomach upset in cats who aren’t allergic to dairy products since the lactose is broken down by the good bacteria in yogurt)
And in some cats with more discerning tastes foods like

- Cooked shrimp

- Cooked or raw fresh venison, bison or other gamey type meats from your local butcher shop. When I’m picking up treats for my guys or I’ve got a cat/kitten who prefers more exotic meat choices I’ll buy a small bison or venison steak that’s eye of the round (or sometimes the medallions) and I’ll cut it up into pieces about the size of a pencil eraser. You can offer this raw or cooked, my guys prefer it raw, but I cook the meat if they don’t finish it on the second day in my fridge - they’ll still eat it, it’s just not as enthusiastically received as the raw pieces are, but then again my babies eat a diet of mostly raw foods that I’ve prepared. If you want to learn more about providing cats and kittens with a healthy, properly balanced, species appropriate diet check out www.catinfo.org, a veterinarian by the name of Dr. Lisa Pierson created this website to help provide a common sense, down to earth explanation of what cats actually need nutritionally to be healthy and she does a fantastic job of explaining feline nutrition to the average person who doesn’t have degrees in chemistry. My family vet is a holistic practitioner who tends to favour a more natural approach to pet healthcare than many vets in practice out there do and she actually recommended Dr. Pierson’s website when I approached her about not trusting the commercially produced foods after our eldest cat nearly died as a result of the Menu Foods recalls of melamine tainted food in 2007 that caused the deaths of thousands of cats, dogs and other pets and created lifelong chronic kidney failure in hundreds of thousands more pets throughout North America (and I believe worldwide).

Ultimately it’s all about finding out what foods your kittens prefer and using them to encourage these little ones to come out of their shells. Be prepared though, if you go to the butcher shop or fish market and you happen to reveal that you’re buying gourmet items for kittens you may get a few odd looks or comments (I actually get a good laugh out of the looks and comments I’ve gotten over the years, but not everyone is quite as willing to put up with color commentary as I am!)…I explain in previous answers how to use the treats to your advantage, however I do think that I should make one thing clear - I don’t believe that pets should be forced to earn their core nutrition, this is part of building trust with these babies. They need to know that their basic needs will be met without question particularly in a situation like this where they’re already fearful. That having been said I’m all for getting these babies interested in treats and then asking them to earn their favourite treats.

At this stage of the game I don‘t suggest that any young children are allowed access to these kittens - they just aren‘t ready for that kind of energy and noise yet and you want to help them grow more confident and less apprehensive at a steady rate. Older children (as in at least 12+ years old) should be considered on an individual basis - they need to be mature enough to recognize that these babies are very fearful and that you‘re trying to help them move beyond their fear so that they can live happy, normal lives as family members as soon as you possibly can get them to the point of trusting people. Any child that interacts with these guys during the rehabilitation phase of the next little while needs to understand that these babies have to come to them, they must NEVER be chased, noise must be kept down and ultimately these just aren’t average kittens that can be played with and cuddled to the point of being mauled - they’re learning to trust and that has to be done slowly on their terms. Just because kids can sometimes be impulsive and forget about rules and boundaries it’s probably best for you to supervise their interactions with these kittens several times before allowing any child to have unsupervised time with these babies so that you can provide the guidance they need to understand that these kittens are special babies who need special treatment. I don‘t suggest that you allow more than one child unsupervised access to these babies in the early stages of their rehabilitation because kids can sometimes forget that this is a unique situation and these kittens need to be handled very carefully in order to learn to trust people - often in my experience one child alone is more likely to follow the rules you set out than when they‘re in a group with one or more other kids of the same age. Involving kids in the rehabilitation process for these babies is a fantastic idea and once the kittens are fairly comfortable with people, have developed enough confidence that sudden noises don’t startle them and they’ve learned to play having older kids model appropriate behaviour for younger kids can be a great way of introducing the kittens to another age group. At this point though these babies just aren’t ready for kids, give it time before kids are even part of the equation because the kittens have to trust that the adults will keep them safe in the presence of kids…

Keep up the good work and remember that if you have any further questions or concerns after reading my previous answers on this subject I'm more than willing to offer any answers and advice that I can so please don't hesitate to contact me again at any time. I wish you the best of luck working with these babies and I know you'll enjoy the rewards of the hard work as they grow to trust you more and more.