You are here:

Cats/Follow up on Boy Cats Playing Rough with our Girl Cat


Hi Kate:  I'm asking a follow-up and including the email thread I had with Karen before she went on holiday.  She asked if the boys were spayed.  The boys were spayed at the end of September 2010.  We too thought that would calm them down, but it has not, which surprised us.  The past three weeks they have "upped" their energy level and intensity during play time.  Also, at 8 1/2 months and 9+ lbs each, they are big, strong boys, so when they play hard, it's a whole new game, so to speak.
They seem to find chasing Lili (2 1/2 yr old) irresistable lately and she is totally stressed about it.  Lili has chronic health issues to begin with and the stress is making them worse.  
I have been water-spraying the boys (which also stresses Lili since she is actually responsive to the presence of the water bottle), but not sure how effective it is, plus the behavior can go on for hours and I cannot always give the time or keep up, but I do the best I can.  Do you have anything to add to what Karen said?  The more helpful suggestions the better. You help is much appreciated.

Thanks, Kate,

Jonquil R

WE adopted two brother kittens this summer to join our two yr old girl cat.  They are now 8 1/2 months, she is 2 1/2 yrs.  We live in a one level condo and all cats are indoor cats.  The transition has had its ups and downs, but the past two weeks, the boys, who are now larger than the girl, seem to have become obsessed with chasing her and they are making her (and me!) a nervous wreck.
When they first arrived she seemed to etablish her dominance which we thought would endure, but now it seems that is changing simply because there are two of them and they are bigger.  This is upsetting.  The boys aren't mean, but they are (very) persistent and they go after her together which completely overhelms her.
We keep them separated when we can, but none of them like being behind a closed door, plus space is limited, so separating them is not much of an option.  I could use any suggestions and words of encouragement.  I'm hoping this is something the boys will grow out of....soon! Thank you,

Jonquil R.
Answer:  Hi Jonquil,

I have to ask, are the boys neutered? If not get them done. This will take care of the problem. If they are fixed the next thing to do is get some Feliway Comfort Zone and try that. This should help calm things down.
Get yourself a water pistol. At the first sign of aggressive behavior by one of the males spray them. You need to interrupt this behavior. Or if you don't want to spray them get a laser pointer and redirect their attention by playing with them. They should stop this behavior in a while. As they get older they will get calmer. You just need to be patient. Good luck.

Ciao, Karen

unfortunately boy kittens can be rather rough in their play and normally what happens is that any other cats around give them a wide berth.

water spraying is not always the best option as it can make the cats become afraid of you but when it comes to cat discipline there is never a quick answer. The best cat discipline is through positive and negative response. But this would mean that every time your cats start to play rough with your other cat that you would have to pick them up and put them in another room on their own for a while ( a negative response) and this can be very time consuming.


Unfortunately there is not much you can do and hopefully as your cats get older they will calm down. There are some cat sprays (felaway)etc you can try and use to calm all your cats down but they are not always effective. See this page


Sorry I could not be of more help

best wishes KAte


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Kate Tilmouth


I can answer most day to day cat problems encountered by owners. I have a good understanding of cat behaviour and problems which may arise from changes to their daily routine. I can advise on cat training including litter training and general day to day cat care issues. I am not a vet and therefore cannot answer medical questions.


I run my own cat website at and have been a dedicated cat owner for over 20 years. I have encountered many different cat problems and situations and feel that i have a good understanding of cats and cat ownership.

I am a platinum member of Ezinearticles where i write mainly cat related articles.

Educated to High School level and have since worked for many years in a customer support based environment, gaining vocational qualifications.

©2017 All rights reserved.