Expert: Norman Auspitz - 12/30/2010

Question
I have two cats, female ragdoll and male maine coon. I often take the cats with me for the weekend to my boyfriends. They seem to have adjusted very well to the environment which is great. The cats are both 2 yrs old and the best of friends most of the time. I know that cats are meant to be good judges of character but mine are giving me mixed signals. My ragdoll adores my boyfriend, she is not a lapcat at all, she prefers to sit next to a person rather than be on them, however she likes to curl up to sleep on top of my boyfriend, this is great and would be perfect if it was not for the fact my maine coon doesn't seem to like him.
Generally if my maine coon is cuddled on me and my boyfriend enters the room the cat jumps down and moves away, sometimes he leaves the room and sometimes he does not. He is prepared to take food out of my boyfriends hand, he frequently paws him for scraps. He generally dosen't let my boyfriend pet him either. This morning my boyfriend picked the cat up to bring him to me and he staretd hissing at him.
In general both cats are wary of new people.

How can i get that cat and my boyfriend to be friends? I am really worried about the cat and don't want him to be miserable. I should say that the cats have all the same facilities and routine at my boyfriends as they do at home. They are also both housecats. I have been taking the cats here for about   months. My boyfriend had two cats growing up and is an animal lover, cats in particular. He is getting frustrated because every other cat he has met seems to love him.

I accept the fact that the cat and my boyfriend may never be best mates. My main concern is that my cat may be miserable which i would hate. I am now worried about what impact there will be on the cat if me and my boyfriend move in together.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
Claire

Answer
Claire,

I am assuming both cats are altered. It is not uncommon for male cats to be more wary of male human beings than female human beings, which may have a little to do with it.  Also, some cats are not keen on doing things unless it is their idea.  So, for the Maine Coon to warm up a bit more to your boyfriend, it has to be the Maine Coon's idea.

So, I would suggest that the boyfriend totally ignore the Maine Coon, unless the Maine Coon comes to the boyfriend for petting.  The boyfriend should not approach or pick up the Maine Coon.  Let the Maine Coon initiate any contact. If the Maine coon thinks it is his idea for affection from the boyfriend, then it will go better.

I do not think your Maine Coon is miserable, I just think he is unsure of the boyfriend, and this may or may not be overcome. However, your best chance at warming things up is to always let the Maine Coon make the first move and for the boyfriend not to do anything until the Maine Coon initiates contact.  I would also think that if your boyfriend becomes a fixture and there is no disruption in litter pan habits or eating, and normal routine, things will eventually warm up.

Please let me know if you have any questions on the above.

Best regards... Norm.