Expert: Norman Auspitz - 3/16/2010

Question
QUESTION: For the last month or so my four year old cat, Skunk, has begun meowing incessantly, sometimes for an hour or more at a time. Usually she does it by the door. I can't get her to understand that she is NOT GOING OUT! She is fixed so she's not in heat. I try to play with her and love on her, but she's making me NUTS! It's like having a baby that won't stop crying!
It's really getting out of hand..... Skunk SO SO badly wants out... spring is coming, and it makes me SOOOO sad living in a place where it's just not safe for her to do so.... I let her have the windows (I open one, even if it's cold) trying to satisfy her a little, but she cries and cries and cries (not an "I'm in heat" cry, just a "Mommy.... I REALLY REALLY want to go out and play!" cry")

It makes me so sad for her....., but her crying is driving me BONKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm dealing with a lot and my anxiety disorder is far from being under control.... the last thing I need when in the throws of a "10" panic attack is Skunk going "MEEEEEEEE! MEEEEEEE!" back and forth across the door for hours sometimes.......

Please help!

ANSWER: Amanda,

Skunk is absolutely gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!

The first thing to realize is that cats are masters at manipulating us humans.  We tend to ascribe human emotions and motives to them, but they do not think like we do.  I would have her checked by your vet just to make sure there is no physical problem.

If there is no physical problem, then you just have to learn to ignore her.  Cats are nothing if not persistent and she has discovered that she can get a rise out of you with her constant meowing. As long as you react, she will keep it up.  Even after you stop reacting, she will keep it up for quite a while trying to force you back to having reactive behavior.  Cats seem to delight in this kind of "game".

So, if it really bothers you, I would get a pair of those soft ear plugs the airlines supply 1st class passengers for trans-Oceanic flights. (You should be able to pick them up at any travel store.) They are quite comfortabkle and good for blotting out most noise.  

I know of no way to stop the meowing behavior once they start except by ignoring it.

Best regards... Norm



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Do you really believe she doesn't have emotions enough to be resentful, hurt, or angry?

Answer
Amanda,

What I said is thay do not think like we do, so ascribing human emotions to them is going to lead us to misinterpreting their behavior.  Yes, they get angry and resentful, but not in the ways we humans do.  I wish I better understood what they were thibnking and experienceing, but I just have to go with the flow when they are non-plussed and do the bet that I can.

Best regards... Norm.