You are here:

Cats/cat is unfriendly since she has been spayed


Hi there,

My cat is now just over 7 months old and as a kitten she was amazing. She loved our attention and used to sit on us constantley (she is a ragdoll cat so typically lap cats) she would want our attention every second of the day and we always gave it to her. She was very playful and just loves spending time with us.

We had her spayed about 4 weeks ago now and she has not been the same since. She is distant and wont let me pet her at all (she will get up and sit a meter away from me), she doesnt like to be held, stroked or brushed. She doesnt come to greet us and sits upstairs alone all evening. She comes when we call her name (as we had trained her to do) but then as soon as she gets a treat she goes upstairs again. She looses interest in playing very quickly and has started biting and attacking us.

I dont know if i should give her space as i know she has been through a traumatic time or if i need to keep trying to stroke her and give her attention to gain her trust again (or if that will push her away as she doesn't want the attention).

The vets say she is fine and her temperature is normal and she is eating and drinking normally so i dont think she is ill; she just seems to have a problem with me and my partner.

Just some other info: she is an indoor cat and she has never expressed any interest to go outside but since the op all the ever does is look out of the windows and look like she wants to get out. As she is a ragdoll it is advised she is not to go outside as they are too placid to fend for themselves but do you think we could let her outside, do you think this will help? or will just make her less interested in us?

your help would really be much appreciated as it is making me very upset that she doesnt want us around anymore.


well this is difficult for me to answer as i live in the Uk and i believe all cats should ber allowed outside as they are essentially still wild at heart. i have always let my cats outside. however i know there are some different issues in other parts of the world and i don't want to get into the whole issue here.

I don't believe the story about ragdoll cats being too placid,,a cat is a cat and they all come from the same gene pool and have that wild instinct in them. When trouble occurs they will all react in the same way depending on the situation. ie attack or escape.

Anyway enough of that, as for your cats particular issue, i'm wondering if it has noting really to do with her operation but more to do with her just getting older. A kittens behavior does change rather quickly over the first year. I adopted two kittens last year and one of them went from being a cat who needed to sit on you all the time to one that never will now. the other one is a little more soppy and still like the occasional lap. But they have definitely changed since i first had them.

i think with your kitten it could be boredom too. If you do decide to keep her in then it is very important that her inside life is as stimulating as possible so that she can still carry out all her natural instincts such as climbing, hunting, chasing etc.  i have a web page about this here


I would continue to try and interact with her with games and petting etc but don't force her too much as this could make her less friendly towards you. i also have a page about bonding with your cat which you may also find of interest here


best wishes kate


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Kate Tilmouth


I can answer most day to day cat problems encountered by owners. I have a good understanding of cat behaviour and problems which may arise from changes to their daily routine. I can advise on cat training including litter training and general day to day cat care issues. I am not a vet and therefore cannot answer medical questions.


I run my own cat website at and have been a dedicated cat owner for over 20 years. I have encountered many different cat problems and situations and feel that i have a good understanding of cats and cat ownership.

I am a platinum member of Ezinearticles where i write mainly cat related articles.

Educated to High School level and have since worked for many years in a customer support based environment, gaining vocational qualifications.

©2017 All rights reserved.