Expert: Ali - 7/29/2010

Question
I have two cats. A 3 year old female and a 4 month old male. The kitten is new to the house, and I gradually introduced the two over a period of about 2.5 weeks. They seem to be getting along very well, chasing each other playfully around the house, both chilling out on my lap when I work at the computer, grooming one another.

However, one problem that exists in the fact that the older female tends to bite very hard when playing. We first noticed it when she would try and wrestle with our hands or nip our heels, and we gradually trained her just not to bite us. However, when she and the kitten are roughhousing, sometimes she'll bite him in a way that causes him to squeal a bit and run.

I'm fairly certain it's all still in the realm of play fighting, as their tails are still up and not thrashing about, their ears are not laid back, and they will usually go back to grooming one another, but I worry about the kitten getting scared of the female because the female bites to hard.

Is there something I can do here? I want them to play with one another (as they both have a lot of energy), but how to keep the female from biting too hard?

Thanks for any advice.

Answer
Bryan,

Unfortunately I'm not sure when this kitten was separated from his mother or how old he was when he was adopted into your household, but it's not uncommon for kittens to develop poor social skills when it comes to people & other cats if they've been taken away from their mother before about 12 weeks of age. Behaviourists are finally recognizing that there are a number of significant merits to allowing a queen to raise her own kittens both in terms of the way that the kittens learn how to be cats and the way they learn skills necessary to get along with people. It's really not a good idea to allow any cat or kitten to use your hand as a toy - if you allow them to swat at, scratch, bite or pounce on any part of your body then they will believe that it's perfectly okay to bite or behave badly with any human at any time. Some toys that cats generally enjoy include things like kitty teases, kitten mittens, a wide variety of toy mice and I know the majority of cats that have lived with me over the years have really loved the spongy ping pong balls (they're really inexpensive, quiet and they bounce around like crazy, some even come in other shapes that make them move even more unpredictably than the original ping pong type balls). Ultimately in future to reduce the likelihood of having your kitties develop undesirable behaviours like using your body parts as toys it's really best if you give them toys that they can play with independently as well as a variety of toys that they can play with as they interact with you and I've found that it's best to try and give my cats and any kittens I care for at least an hour or so of interactive playtime so that they can drain some of their pent up energy as they develop a deeper bond with you. Cats are also very trainable if you're patient and you know what they will work for. My cats all know how to sit, sit pretty, beg and walk for short distances on a harness and leash indoors and outside. I don't allow my cats to go outside unsupervised for a variety of reasons - to sum it up there are far too many terrible people out there who take their frustrations out on those who can't defend themselves be it vulnerable adults, children or animals. At this point I think that the situation between your older kitty and your new kitten should be watched closely to ensure that everything is still reasonably civilized between them, but I don't think it's a good idea to intervene at this point. It's quite likely that your little girl is teaching this new baby his place within the household and sometimes it can look much worse than it really is. There are a number of homeopathic remedies that you might want to consider if things do get out of hand between these two fur kids in terms of their sibling rivalry and I'd be more than happy to recommend ones that I use regularly with cats who need a bit of extra help adjusting to situations or keeping calm, however it's important that you realize that I'm not a licensed homeopath or veterinarian - I can't offer medical advice, but I can give you some advice based on my own experiences over the years. If you don't allow your older kitty to teach the kitten some manners then he may develop some pretty bad manners both from the human and feline perspective. Obviously if your older cat is actually causing injuries (ie: breaking the skin) you'll need to separate the two cats, but overall what's going on sounds pretty harmless to me just based on the information that you've provided. If you're interested in learning more about feline behavior, the developmental stages of kittens, the new research regarding vaccines & the frequency they should be administered to cats, providing the safest, healthiest and most species appropriate food for your feline companions or any other cat related question or concern please don't hesitate to contact me again and I will do my best to help you and your kitties.