Expert: Jessica - 8/24/2010

Question
We have found ourselves with two cats and don't know how to get them to get along! Toffee is our 3 year old female, and Kisses is my mom's 5 year old male. My mother just passed away and we had to take Kisses. We kept him in our bedroom for 2 days with a baby gate up so the two could sniff each other out and such. Then we took the gate up and all hell broke loose. They hide on either side of the house and we can't get either one to come out. When we are able to get one of them out, he/she hisses and growls at us, then runs back to their hiding spot. We want them to interact, but it seems as though they intend to remain separated in our house indefinitely. What can we do to get them in the same room to work this out?

Answer
Hi Rachel,

Two days is definitely not enough for the two to adjust to each other.  In general, people must keep the cats totally separated behind closed doors so that the cats can't even SEE each other for at least 3 or 4 days.  With adult cats, it's often more like a week.  Then, after a total separation, we go to using a partial separation such as a baby gate, and using very short 15-minute visits for another couple of weeks.  So the fact that you were able to use just a baby gate right away was actually a great sign!  Very few cats will accept each other in less than 2-3 weeks.

Definitely go back to using the baby gate for another week or so.  During this time, feed the cats extra delicious meals on each side of the baby gate so that they're eating almost side-by-side.  Fancy Feast is a nice food to use for this.  They'll have this pleasant experience to associate with each other, and it will help to start their relationship on a positive note.  After about a week, see if you can lift the baby gate but have them still come to eat several feet apart.  Like I mentioned before, most cats should only visit for about 15 minutes, because keeping them together too long can cause them to become stressed out and begin to reactive negatively to the situation.  Put the baby gate back up, and separate them again.  If either of the cats begins to hop the baby gate before it's time to remove it, this may suggest they're ready to interact with each other, and you can monitor them closely.  However, if they do poorly, you'll have to close the door to the room to separate them, and let Kisses out for supervised visits several times a day until they get used to each other.

In about three weeks, you should be seeing a great improvement in their relationship.  Even if the two avoid each other, that's fine, as long as they're not hissing, growling or chasing each other.  Separate them completely by closing the door to Kisses's room if you leave the house until you're sure the cats get along.  One fight can set you back farther than where you started.

Best of luck!

Jessica