Expert: Jessica - 9/16/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi. My lovely 9 week kitten started socialising properly when we got her about 10 days ago.  prior to that she had been handled a little.  She has come on amazingly and not hissing or hiding away now, but she does not like being picked up.  If we manage to pick her up - no mean task the rate she darts about at - she is very happy to be cuddled and purrs loudly. She will happily be held for more than an hour and will fall asleep in our arms. How can we get her to be more comfortable with us?  She will approach us but usually darts off when you try to stroke her.  She is adorable and we want to know what is the best to do for her.  Do we force the issue and try to "grab" her or be more patient and let her come to us when she is ready?  Any advice would be welcome.  Thanks

ANSWER: Hi Joyce,

The short answer is, grab her.  Cats are creatures of habit.  Those on the nervous side will continue to stay on the nervous side for years if we let them.  I definitely recommend that you take this time while she's still quite impressionable (and will do relatively little physical damage) to mold her habits.  Unless you grab her and do something horrible to her, this won't result in any distrust against you.

I suggest that you keep her in a small room without any hiding spots, so that she's easily accessible.  Make it so that she hasn't got many places to dart to, and she'll be easy to catch.  Once she realizes that fleeing is futile, she should give you less of a chase.  She already realizes how much time she enjoys with you once she's held.

Also, I can't say enough about using food treats to build trust.  You never want to give her a treat from the table, because that will result in pesky behavior while you're eating, but bring her bits of chicken or tuna to areas where it's appropriate for her to eat.  I have taught my cats to take chicken baby food from a syringe for treats, which works out fantastically when it comes time for them to take medicine (I mix the medicine with the baby food in the syringe, and they take it as a treat).  Whichever treat you decide to use, have it in your hand when you approach her.  Use it to entice her to come close, and scoop her up with your other hand.  Allow her to eat it once she's securely in your lap.  The most fearful cats can't help but become your best friend once they come to see you as their personal provider.

Good luck!

Jessica


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks Jessica
She is so quick that we are finding it hard to grab her. Should we use a towel or something like that to scoop her up?  Should we get her by the scruff of the neck?  Sometimes the only thing that flashes by is her tail, but I havent the heart to pull that! She is in my lounge and there are a few hiding places.  I realsed that might be a mistake a bit late on. Wish I had put her in the kitchen.  I guess we keep her in one place until she is a bit more comforrtable with beng handled?  Thanks for the avice re the chicken baby food!   Regards Joyce

Answer
Yes, definitely keep her in one small, isolated area until she is comfortable being handled.  When a kitten is very skiddish, I will even keep them in a dog crate for a few weeks for intense handling until they calm down.  If one is not available, a bathroom or other small area is a good substitute.

Using a towel is fine to catch the kitten, but so is getting her by the scruff of the neck - whichever works easier for you.  Although a lot of people recommend it, I personally find the cats to be a bit traumatized by the towel trick most of the time, so I tend not to use it unless the cat is trying to scratch or bite.

You may want to try continuously playing some classical music softly for her, as well as dimming the lighting.  These are soothing to cats who are nervous.  Additionally, you might try sitting on the floor in the room and reading a book aloud.  You will be less of a threat when you're sitting down on her level than when walking toward her, and she can get used to your presence and your voice this way.  Offer her the food treats from the sitting position.

Hope that helps!