Expert: Norman Auspitz - 7/18/2011

Question
Hi Norman!  I hope you can help me!  I adopted a siamese flame-tip  a year ago.  It took her 6 months to sit in my lap although she was very comfortable sleeping ON me at night! Three months ago we adopted Bean. He is loving, very laid back and doesn't ever react to the aggressiveness. He will be completely submissive to Sunshine. He would love for SUNSHINE (established cat# to play.  Sunshine has progressively gotten more aggressive. She will meet him nose to nose and then HISS.  Jekyll and Hyde. She chases him-swats him and bites at him and other times doesnt care about him at all.  If I pay attention to Bean-Sunshine will not want me to pet her and leaves the room.
 We did the whole introduction process by keeping them separated etc.  How can I deal with Sunshines jealousy and aggression?  Sunshine sleeps with me at night and BEAN would love to sleep with us too, but I keep him out b/c of Sunshine.  Sunshine is also more hyped up-as though she has alot more energy at times since Bean came#pent up aggression?)  The are both fixed.  I have tried to give Sunshine xtra attention.  Thank you!

Answer
Darlene,

I have a minority opinion on this kind of situation.  There are 2 concerns: (1) Any human intervention is counter productive in cats working out how to get along and (2) We do not understand the rules in how cats inter-react with each other.  In addition, we tend to ascribe the same motives and emotions we have to the cats, since they do not think like we do.  While cats do seem to get jealous, we cannot be sure that is what they are feeling.

Also, cats have very, very tough skin, so they tend to play with each other very roughly.  As long as no one is drawing blood, I would not worry. I would not separate them any more, even from your bed room.  They need to work out how they need to inter-react in every part of the house.  You may have to grit your teeth at some of the noise, but it tends to be just noise.  I would not concern myself about Sunshine's reaction to your petting Bean.  When she wants attention, she will ask for it!

To me, it sounds like all is going as it should with those two. You just have to resist the urge to intervene as their games may appear to be very rough, but no one is going to get hurt. Neither one is hurting the other, they are just playing!

I hope this helps.

Best regards... Norm.