Expert: Karen Craft - 7/26/2011

Question
QUESTION: My Great Uncle (92) moved in with me and brought his 2 cats.  I had 3 cats and now I have 5.  My Great Uncle passed away last month and the one feral kitty will not come out from under the bed, until night-time when I'm sleeping.  At least he was/is eating and drinking, that's awesome in my view, when you are grieving.  Now, he is pooping and peeing on my Uncle's bed and the bed in the guest bedroom.  We have 4 cat boxes (extra jumbo) and this cat did this one other time when my Uncle was in the hospital.  What can I do to help this kitty (Tiger) make the transition easier?  I'm grieving and I know Tiger is too...he howled the 3 days after my Uncle passed.  This just breaks my heart.

ANSWER: Hi Kristi,

My condolences to you.
He is under great stress. Try using some Feliway Comfort Zone. It mimics a cats happy pheromones. You can also use this stuff. http://www.petnaturals.com/vitamins_supplements/calming-support-softchews-cats.p
Try leaving something that Great Uncle wore and that has his scent on it on the floor by the bed. Or put it in a cat bed for him. Make sure you clean the areas he uses really well. Here's a link that explains the best way to get rid of the cat's odors where he went. http://www.catsofaustralia.com/clean-cat-urine-mattress.htm
And use the plastic tarp idea.

Hopefully he will get better. Otherwise you might want to have your vet prescribe something that will help him. Good luck and take care.

Ciao, Karen

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: He won't come to me, so giving him a pill or chew is out of the question, right now.  I couldn't 'catch' him to take the to vet either, at this time.  I left some of my Uncle's clothes next to the bed and he pooped on those too.  He's done this before.  He's always checked out, healthy, at all his vet visit.  Including last year.  I'm afraid of the plastic tarp.  I have 4 other cats, too.

Answer
Hi Kristi,

Coat the chews with cream cheese or tuna oil. And just leave them out for him.  Cover the bed with something plastic so his soil wont go through the mattress.  Definitely use the Feliway. You can try to stay sitting very quietly in the room at night until he comes out. Then you might just gently talk to him.
 Hopefully he will respond to this until he comes to you. If he does give him lots of affection. This is what he needs. And if doesn't come out to you right now keep talking to him quietly. He will respond to you. It is going to take time. Here is a link about cats grieving. http://messybeast.com/cat-grief.htm
It might help you.
Good luck and take care.

Ciao, Karen