Expert: Norman Auspitz - 7/4/2011

Question
QUESTION: My cats have been together 8 yrs.  We recently moved and while out, an item fell & I came home to fighting cats that I separated for the night.  All was well next day and beyond until I stepped on one's paw, which sent her running and the other at chase.  The fight was so bad I separated them again.  I've tried to re-introduce them with no luck - although when they were boarded she put them loose together and they steered clear of each other.  Encouraged, I tried that when we got home and the older one was panting so heavily - in such stress - I separated them again.  The other night she was on the outside of my bedroom & the Alpha was in with me.  As soon as the Alpha heard her, she charged the door wildly, hissing & scrambling to get through the door.

I worry that I am prolonging this aggression/fear issue by separating them, yet whenever they set eyes on each other, there is a lot of hissing from both - one runs from fear, the other gets frantic for a fight.

The carrier idea seemed only to cause the issue to enlarge, letting them eye each other through a door creates issues.  Am I the problem?  Should I let them out, let them fight, let them establish the order until it draws blood?  My old girl is 15, afraid of everything anyway and I'm worried it would be cruel to re-expose her to her fear of the younger one.  They both seem happy separated and have adjusted to time out/time in.  Again - am I making this larger than it is - would letting them out to work it out be better than the constant separation from my admitted fear of a truly bad fight?

ANSWER: Lana,

Cats are very, very territorial, so when we move from onw house to another, it is very traumatic for the carts and some cats do better with such a move than others.  So, what you are describing is not surprising at all, since they have to re-establish their relationships in the new environment. It can take many weeks and even months for things to sort themselves out.  However,they cannot do this if they are separated.

I think your last idea is the best, if you do not want to have them poermanently separated, you should just let them run together and let them sort it out. Cats, whether in serious negotiations or play fighting often sound like world war III, so you might just let them go and, as long as nop one draws blood, it will be OK.  Cats have extremely tough skin and can handle much more "biting" and "scratching" than us softer skinned humans.

Also, I have found that any human intervention is counter productive and tends to prolong the getting used to each other again rituals.

Please let me know how things develop over the longer haul.

Best regards... Norm.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Norm,  I thought I would let you know that I bought a very large, soft-sided carrier that allows each cat a view of the other from all sides.  I felt it was best to desensitize them to each other by constant contact with the submissive one safe from the dominant one - feeding them at the same time on the opposite sides of the mesh door.  Amazingly, other than mild hisses from each, they are only looking at each other and the dominant one went to lie down within a foot of the carrier.  I will do this several hours a day so that each cat is 'with' me - so that they get used to sharing me again.  The vet said to let the dominant one be loose and secure the submissive one because the dominant one will stay dominant, but the submissive one needs to learn she has to share the space again too.  I feel much better about this more peaceful, albeit slower method that gives me time with both at the same time again.  In a few days I'll open it up to see what happens if the hissing stops.  Thanks again!!  I'll be sure to let you know if we have a happy ending in time.

ANSWER: Lana,

Hopefully, this will work.  Please let me know what transpires as I am always interested in methods that actually work.

I anxiously await your report.

Best regards... Norm.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello again Norm!

Eureka!  What I did was keep the submissive in the carrier (soft,with reinforced sides,top zip, front zip) - small dog size - that allowed her to stand, move around & have food & water)for several hours a few times for 2 days - where I was & the other cat.  The vet said never put the dominant in, that the submissive had to understand the dominant wasn't changing or leaving.  Then I had another idea.  I fed them on either side of the mesh.  On the 2nd day, they both raised their heads frequently to look at each other, but they both ate.  I also gave treats that way - I make my cats sit like dogs - so they would associate good things with each other (on opposite sides of the mesh door).  When the hissing stopped I felt it was time to let what was to happen, happen.  

There's been mild hissing & growling from the submissive, but the dominant one steers clear - cats!  Nothing major though.  They both laid on the floor in my bedroom for the night and both were on the cat tree (mild hissing from submissive), but now they are able to walk by each other.  They will never be friends, but I think the desensitizing was the key.

Also, thanks to you, I will never, ever again raise my voice or react when they squabble.  Instead I soothe them, call them good girls and talk gently.  It soon calms them because I'm calm!!  No human intervention ever again - until or IF I ever see blood.  I am so relieved to have peace again in my house!  And YOU were the one who set me on the right track with my added idea of one in the carrier.  Thank you SO much!!!

Answer
Lana,

I am so glad it all worked out for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was glad to have been of some help.  Also, I will file away the idea of using the soft sided crate (with unobstructed views of all sides) for desensitizing cats who once got along, but now do not seem to be.  That is a great tip.

Best regards.... Norm.