Expert: Ali - 8/18/2011

Question
Dear Ali,

Myself and my boyfriend adopted 2 stray kittens (male & female) about 7 weeks ago (they are roughly 15 weeks old now) from a kind couple who had a cat and her litter coming to their door for food. The kittens were both very shy at the start, having been living outside the whole time but now the male has come around great, loves to purr and be stroked, follows us around, etc. The female has been much slower, and has still not come around fully, and although there has been some progress we have had drawbacks lately. They are confined to our office room with food, litter trays, toys and carrier, and so far have not had much interest in exploring the rest of the house. We have been spending hours playing with them, getting them to engage and interact any way we could (string, little paper balls, small rocks, scratch post, etc.). Although the girl loves to play, she is clearly not comfortable in open space, and always runs looking for a hiding place. She does take treats from my hand but will retreat immediately. We have got rid of a few hiding places in the room, and now both kittens sleep in the cat carrier and seem to feel comfortable there. We thought we were making good progress with her when she started purring when stroked in the cat carrier in the past 2 weeks, and was even rolling over to have her tummy rubbed. However she has been back to her “scared self” for a few days now, and we can not explain it at all. There is no way to pet her, and when I go one way she jumps over to the other side of the room. She is very nervous and jumpy, there is a panic in her eyes that is painful to watch (hugely dilated pupils), and I really don’t understand why, the only thing I can think of is that we closed the carrier door for a day so she couldn’t hide in it, but I reopened it afterwards. I know that cats can get jealous, so have been trying a bit of reverse psychology, and tried to ignore her for a few days and gave plenty of attention to the male. She first pretended to play on her own with nothing, or did things that seemed to say “look at me!” and eventually joined in the play with us, all the while ready to jump if we came too close. I am not sure though if that is evidence enough that she wants attention and to be around us, and I am getting really frustrated after all the progress we felt we had made. I thought the fact that the male was letting himself be petted in front of her and enjoying it would help, but I am just not sure now. The thing is, we are going on holidays within a week’s time (a family member will come to look after them) and I just want to make the best of the week ahead before we leave (we’ll be off for a week). I just would like some advice on the best course of action to take now: should we try to ignore her some more to see if she comes to us of her own accord, or should we continue what we have been doing and try interacting with her through play, treats, and stroking/petting, and hope that she eventually gets to trust us? I am not sure why she’s been so nervous and jumpy lately. I am trying Bach’s Rescue Remedy at the moment and waiting. Any advice you could give would be much appreciated.

Answer
Myriam,

Just like people kittens differ in personality - some are simply more outgoing than others. It does sound like this baby girl is slightly more fearful than normal and you may want to try a few other Bach remedies to help her get through it - Elm to help restore optimism, Larch to help cope with fear and Gorse for her anxiety. Those remedies should be given by gently rubbing them into the skin of the outside of her ear flaps since the flower essences are preserved in grape alcohol and cats aren't fond of the smell or taste of alcohol and the remedies dissipate fairly quickly when placed in water. In the meantime do not take away her hiding places, she needs to have places to go where she feels safe, be patient - let her come to you when she's ready... It sounds like she's sizing you up and just needs time to get comfortable in her new surroundings... With a more patient approach combined with the remedies I recommended you should see a fair difference in her quite soon. I would also try using toys to lure her out rather than affection - touch from someone so much larger than her can be very intimidating, but very few kittens can resist the urge to play with a feather wand or an old shoelace (just be sure that for toys like string, shoelaces and ribbon they are only available during supervised playtime as they can be very dangerous if swallowed!).. Please feel free to update me on this little girl's progress and if need be I'll make additional recommendations to help her along. If you have any further questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me again at any time - I'm more than happy to help in any way that I can.

Kind regards,

Ali