Expert: Norman Auspitz - 1/20/2012

Question
We have had our pure breed lilac British Shorthair kitten for 5 weeks - he's 3 months old. He's playful, affectionate and full of mischief! We wanted two kittens but none of Winston's litter mates were available at the time so we just found another British Shorthair kitten (a female colourpoint) who is also 3 months old. We picked her up six days ago. After a few days of being in my bedroom I decided the kittens could meet for a short time. This was two days ago. The resident kitten (the male) was not happy. He hissed, growled and chased the new kitten under the sofa. When we put the new kitten in the carrier so she could feel safe he jumped on top of it - hissing and growling. That night I put them back in their own bedrooms to sleep.

On day two, our resident kitty seemed generally interested in the new kitten...mewing and chirping and trying to paw her, however, I assume after his "bad" behavior toward her the day before she wants nothing to do with him and hisses, growls and even swats at him if he tries to jump up on the chair she's sitting on.

Is this relationship doomed? Is there anything I can do to help the kittens to get along? I got the second kitten so the first kitten wouldn't be alone during the day when everyone is at work/school but now I'm thinking I made a mistake. Both kittens are lovely by themselves - playful and affectionate but based on the new kitten's behavior I'm not sure that she'll ever be his friend.

Answer
Denise,

Actually, things are not going as badly as you think. First of all, all cats go through an involved getting to know you ritual.  Secondly, we mere humans do not understand the rules of their inter-relationships. Thirdly, any human interference once they are running together is counter productive.

So, were they mine, I would let them run together and sort out their relationships on their own.  Ignore the hissing, spitting, growling and the like even if it sounds like World War III.

Do not separate them, do not worry about one kitten hurting the other, as that is not going to happen.  Cats/kittens have very tough skin and normally engage in biting/scratching behavior when they play with each other.  On the other hand we humans have relatively soft skin and the kittens need to learn they must be more gentle with us. It is sometimes difficult to tell play from fighting!

You may need to have two litter pans in different parts of the household. You may need to feed them in two different dishes. If you play with one, you really need to play with the other (as they do get jealous).

You must guard against ascribing human motives and emotions to cats.  They do not think like we do.  

I would give it a couple of weeks to see what develops. Remember, the best thing to do is to leave them be so they can ok out their relationship to one another.

Please let me now how things go..

Best regards... Norm.