Expert: Tina - 11/6/2007

Question
Hi Tina - My husband and I adopted a 12-week-old russian blue mix kitten last April.  We call her Piper.  Her mother was a feral cat.  We brought Piper home where our two older cats (ages 9 and 5) live with us.  Piper has bonded closely with both cats to the exclusion of us!  If I take Piper and close her in a room with me, she is the sweetest, most loving kitten, and will purr, rub on me, play and be the perfect kitten; however, anytime she is loose in the house, she sticks closely to our other two cats and runs from us if we approach her.  We have always been good to her, and I've spent time holding her and petting her. Our two older cats are very bonded to us.  I have hoped she would watch us interact with them and maybe get a clue. Here it is 7 months later, and we have only made slightly better progress with her.  Are there any tips you can share on how we can get her to bond more closely with us?  We'd be grateful for any help.  Thank you, Jeanice Lewis

Answer
HI Jeanice,

Sometimes you have to separate out the formerly-feral cat for a while in order to bond. It's pretty normal for them to form bonds with other cats this way - one of the nice thing about formerly-ferals is that they tend to get along well in multi-cat homes! Here is an article I wrote with some tips on how to further socialize your feral cat. Obviously you are past the point described in the article since your cat is friendly in private. But isolating her for a few months may help her bond with you more, if you can keep her in a private room and you are her only social interaction.

http://catnet.stanford.edu/articles/socializing_ferals.html

However some cats are always more aloof and it may just be that you'll have to accept Piper's personality this way. I do find that many cats mellow out and become less skittish and more friendly around age 4, especially if regularly exposed to visitors to the home and people other than the owners in a non-threatening way.

Good luck!