Expert: Karen Craft - 11/5/2007

Question
Karen, I've had my cat,Kali, since 2002, she's about 6 years old now. I moved a year ago when I got married. My husband and Kali used to get along like good buddies, (playing, giving milk, giving cat nip, etc.), but ever since he got her out from under the bed a month and a half ago, she DOES NOT like him anymore. Everytime we've gone somewhere, I've always got her and the dog out of the bedrooms, to avoid accidents, which was ALWAYS a challenge with the cat. Anyhow, now if he goes near her she growls, if he gets closer she hisses and poops, and sometimes whales out an untolerable scream. We've taken her to the vet, in which she had yeast in her ear and red gums, but all that's healed now. For the past week, she was coming around playing as usual then all of a sudden the past few days, she's been hard to be around. She'll be playing one hour and the next hour just mean. It's frustrating when you can't figure out why she is SO mean and "crazy"-like to him, but not to me, unless him and I are in the same room. I really don't want to find her a new home, but between the screams and the pooping when she's mad is getting hard to deal with, when you don't know what mood she's in from hour to hour, day to day. I don't understand. What in the world can I do to not make her so crazy anymore and be the Kali Kitty that we BOTH love.

Answer
Hi Kimberly,

She sounds like she is afraid of him because of that episode. He needs to regain her trust. This will take about 2 weeks to do. You need to wait until you Kali is hungry. Have your boyfriend, (with you present), give her a treat. Slowly, each time he does this, you need to be further and further away  from Kali and your boyfriend. Eventually you want to be out of the room and having him feed her. She will be over her fear and associate him with good things. He will then have to once in a while give her treats to reinforce that good feeling. This  just takes a little time. It will work. Good luck.

Ciao, Karen