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Cats/should i replace him?


18 months ago i bought 2 kittens, 1 girl, 1 boy who were siblings. At first the boy, who was bigger & more boisterous, seemed to bully his sister but over the months they seemed to get on better & keep eachother company, giving eachother an occasional wash and playful kicking! My tom cat was never overly affectionate, whereas the female was and is like a baby who loves to be cuddled etc. Tragically my tom was knocked down & killed last week & whilst im heartbroken im also worrying that my other cat will be lonely. She so far appears ok, isnt off her food & still is very affectionate but i can help but think she will miss him as much as i do.. i dont know whether to replace him or not. Id be grateful for your advice.

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your cat.
It is a natural human reaction and mistake to transfer our feelings onto our animals. Yes we miss our friends when they are gone but then we have a much better understanding of what has happened. Whereas as far as your cat is concerned the other cat has disappeared, she doesn't know where, he may come back, he may not. It is important to give your female cat time to not grieve for the other cat but to get used to the fact that he is not around any longer. If you try to replace him too soon, what is likely to happen is that your female cat will become aggressive towards him as she is still expecting the return of the original cat.
I have written an article about cats grieving here
Give your female cat some time to get used to the whole idea that the other cat is not coming back before you consider bringing a new cat into the home. It will save a lot of possible aggressive behavior. I hope this has helped a little.



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Kate Tilmouth


I can answer most day to day cat problems encountered by owners. I have a good understanding of cat behaviour and problems which may arise from changes to their daily routine. I can advise on cat training including litter training and general day to day cat care issues. I am not a vet and therefore cannot answer medical questions.


I run my own cat website at and have been a dedicated cat owner for over 20 years. I have encountered many different cat problems and situations and feel that i have a good understanding of cats and cat ownership.

I am a platinum member of Ezinearticles where i write mainly cat related articles.

Educated to High School level and have since worked for many years in a customer support based environment, gaining vocational qualifications.

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