Expert: Becky - 3/19/2006

Question
Hi Becky,

I have a dilemma you may be able to help me with. We got our cat Misty from a shelter when she was 6 months old. When she was 9 months old she had 3 kittens. We found good homes for two and kept one (Whitefur - a male). We've since been responsible and had her done (as is Whitefur). They have an uneasy relationship, with Misty being quite aggressive towards Whitefur, but they also play together well.

Recently I've moved away from where I was living and have left both cats with my ex-boyfriend (Ray), who absolutely adores them. I also love them very much but decided they'd probably be better left with Ray in the home they've known for the past seven years. Misty is eight and Whitefur's about seven.

The problem is that Misty doesn't seem very happy I've left - or maybe it's just more obvious to me that something seems wrong since I've left. Ray also thinks she seems a bit miserable. It's been 6 months since I left. We're wondering if I should take Misty to my new flat (which has a lovely garden), or whether this would upset her (and Whitefur) more than leaving things the way they are. I'm worried that Misty would be too timid to fight for new territory, as Whitefur seems to do the fighting where they are now. Also, even though they seem not to get along, I'm wondering, since they've been together for seven years, whether this would upset them further and whether they'd miss each other.

What do you think?!

I look forward to hearing from you.

Many, many thanks,

Fionn

Answer
Hello Fionn!

Yes, you certainly have a dilema! Why don't you just try taking Misty on a trial basis?  If things work out ok, then you'll know it was the right thing to to.  Maybe she really misses you!  Cats (and dogs) will often mourn for their owner when they are gone. If she doesn't improve, then maybe it would be best for you to get another kitten for her to befriend.  Maybe she and Whitefur just aren't compatable.  Males are much more agressive than females,  so he may be a little too much for her.  In any case, a trial wouldn't hurt, and if things are no better, then you can go from there.

God Bless,
Becky