Expert: Anthony Tarquinto - 1/30/2012

Question
Hello Brother,

I went through all your answers you have made previously and am quite familiar with the concept of celibacy. I have a few concerns that keeps haunting me in all walks of my life. I am addicted to masturbation for the past 12 years and am also addicted to drugs(cannabis)for almost 7 years. I used to anesthesize myself sexually when ever I am drugged. I had made several briefs attempts to quit this nasty habit of mine but failed miserably. But I never gave up and had been trying to find my way through inspite of failing thousands(I mean it) of times. My face, my eyes and my body has become very unattractive and my body is deprieved of all my energy. My body is very odd with a physique of a 40 year old man while I am only 25. I have never been in a relationship with any women in my life nor even had a good friendship. Every time I am in a streak of no masturbation average of 10 days, I feel a kind of improvement in all aspects of my life. Even my face starts glowing and my body feels energetic. But I had always ruined it by getting back to the nasty habit of mine. I also learnt ISHA YOGA a few years ago but failed to practise it all these days. Now, with all my energy, will power, conscience harnessed together I am striving hard make an attempt to get rid of all these emptiness in my life. I started practising yoga twice a day. I visit the Hanuman temple daily. Started walking on a daily basis and making a change in every aspects of my life. Its been more than 2 weeks now and I dont even feel the slightest of a change in my face or in my energy level, while I used to feel a great deal of change previously within 5 or 6 days even without doing yoga.

My questions are,

1. Am I doing any thing wrong, Is YOGA not suitable for me as I am Depreived of all my energy.
2. Would I ever get a Physique of a 25 year old again.
3. I have also developed a severe Digestion and Gastric trouble recently. Is it because of my prolonged masturbation.
4. What else am I missing, I badly need to get on my life as I have always lived with this kind of depression.
5. I feel very low of my self as my appearance will make others thing of me very low.

I know I am doing the right thing now but nothing is happening to me. May be its payback time for god. I dont know if there is anything for you to say in this, but it would be great if you could help me out.

Thanks,

Siva

Answer
Siva,

    You first need to seek professional medical attention for your gastrointestinal problems. If there is a doctor of medicine in your area, you need to see one immediately. A doctor can prescribe for you a treatment regimen to break your marijuana habit as well. Marijuana is the most dangerous, destructive substance on earth and is probably contributing to your depression. You must quit marijuana immediately.
    Your habit is what is called an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which is a common psychiatric disorder. Twelve years is a long time to be dealing with this, so you MUST consult a physician as soon as possible. Your doctor can prescribe certain medicines (like fluoxetine and sertraline) to start the treatment process. Physicians in the United States often follow up pharmacologic therapy with psychological therapy (or "talk therapy") which is just as important. I hope and pray that you have access to western allopathic medical treatment.
    I am not a believer in YOGA. I am a believer in weight training. Basic exercises such as the full-squat, bench press, shoulder press and arm-curls (when done properly) are CRUCIAL to getting you healthy. You MUST avail yourself free-weight exercise equipment and proper instruction. You don't necessarily need a personal trainer, but you must learn basic weight lifting, and how to organize a regimen so that you can get stronger. You don't have to look like a bodybuilder, but it's important. Stronger muscles will give you the energy that you need to be healthy, functional, and productive. You'll feel better about yourself as well.

If you don't have access to exercise equipment, please run. Running will get oxygen in your brain and release endorphins (the body's natural painkiller). Heavy exercise in some shape or form is ESSENTIAL to good health.
    
Don't feel bad about never having been in a relationship. Neither have I. It's OK. You'll be fine. You're young yet, and you have plenty of time.

Do not think that others are judging you on your personal appearance. They are not. What is important is that you regain your physique for HEALTH AND WELLNESS reasons and personal appearance is secondary. I personally have male-pattern baldness (hair-loss), acne, and the left side of my body droops down from a shoulder injury I suffered many years ago.

But who cares. It's what's INSIDE that counts.

You are a strong-willed person. You have intellectual strength, poise, and presence of mind. You are aware of your surroundings and you have a realistic and accurate worldview. You have been witness to suffering that no American can ever imagine, and the fact that you have survived to the age of 25 and you read and write so well tells me that you have a bright future.

Don't give up on yourself.
     
The most important thing to getting rid of the emptiness in your life is to find God. I am a Roman Catholic, and the Catholic Church in your region is growing. The Catholic Church will help you identify with God and bring you closer to Him.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta was a personal hero of mine; she saved many lives. You must develop a close relationship with God, and He will guide you, and give your life direction.

I do not believe that it is "payback time," as you might think. Siva, sometimes bad things happen to good people, and this is just a fact of life. I want you to do me a favor. Please read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl.

Dr. Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor. "Man's Search for Meaning" changed my life (for the better) and it will change yours.

Take care