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Celibacy/Abstinence/Maintaining Brahmacharya in married Life


Hello Dhananjay,

It's been a long time since i first visited this site - your answers about Brahmacharya.

Thanks a lot for sharing bro.

You know, i am married. And as i remembered, you're also married, right?

I was wondering that maybe you can share with us some tips on how to still practice it eventhough you're with a woman- your wife ofcourse.

Ask for me, i really find it difficult to reach beyond 4 months of non-sexual relationship. My practice is still in an on and off one. That is Brahmacharya-intimate-brahmacharya again.

Hope to read from you next. Assalamu alaykum.

1. A married couple wishing to adopt Brahmacharya can first practice non-ejaculatory relations with a Yogic lifestyle. This helps them to overcome the slavery to ejaculation/orgasm. As the need to orgasm is gradually overcome, the next step consists of reducing the frequency of the sexual act itself. If a life of Yoga & meditation is carried out with devotion to God parallelly, the urge towards sexual activity for recreation will taper away in a span of a few months, following which abstinence becomes the way of life.

2. The basis for this method lies in viewing the other as a manifestation of God and not merely as husband/wife. When such a divine attitude supported by pure love is developed, the tendency to look at the other person as an object of sexual love tapers and goes away. All this of course requires immense grace of the Lord/Guru without which nothing moves forward. The couple should have also reached a stage where they are ready to take up complete Brahmacharya at the evolutionary/karmic level. Our purview ends at sincere effort and we leave the rest to the Lord who eventually blesses the genuine aspirant.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


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