Celibacy/Abstinence/Meat, Weakness, Karmic Sickness
I am approaching only day 25 of Brahmacharya. Up until this point it has been smooth sailing, now I remember why past attempts have been hard (I tried about a year ago). I feel irritable, weak, borderline sick, stressed, the body feels tense and unbalanced, lack of appetite etc. Last night I had the first nocturnal discharge but I managed to prevent all but a few drops, which was a success.
Could you explain the nature of this karmic sickness, why it happens, and what the best course of action to take? Should I rest? Or continue practicing/practice more?
Also, I was a vegetarian for a year, and everyone kept commenting on how weak, small, pale I looked. Then I started eating some meat again, adn I felt stronger, and people said I looked better. Now a vegetarian again and I feel this weakness returning. Is this a result of past abrahmacharya? Why is my karma making it hard for me to be vegetarian? Why do I feel stronger with some meat? I definitely eat enough food, hunger is not an issue and the diet is balanced and has a lot of nutrients... plenty of protein,e tc.
THankyou for your time
1. Karma eventually surfaces . When it does, that reaction which befits the action that caused the karma occurs; be it illness or something else. The only way to vacate accrued karma is to continue uninterrupted practice till Enlightenment.
2. Meat is conducive to physical strength but not to mental control in case of the beginner Brahmachari who is trying to get a foot hold into practice in his vulnerable state. Hence the food restrictions in the earlier years. Past tendencies always try to revert every now and then till the substratum of such karma is not burnt out through Sadhana (practice)
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)