Celibacy/Abstinence/Lack of control
I m 24 years old I have read many articles on brahmacharya and known that its is difficult to practise realistically after so many attempts my faith and I failing to keep this vow resulting in outburst of emotional quilt as I know this is against morality so also the perfect being or our super humans like lord buddha and mahavira and jesus christ gave sermons on practising celibacy though intellectually understanding also even though I fail to practise this makes me think I m so fake to myself and in reality its so I tend to get attracted rather to net and porn and realize lately its so against me this has complexified my personality though late realization and regretting are always in vain but has been a habit pattern in which im struggling to practise bramacharya lately failing miserably though having understanding ther philosophical aspect the practical aspect and practise remains unfulfilled my question to you is I know the practical men are few and less rest majority are swayed and are flowing in craving of sensuality yet I ask are there some concrete ways of implication of brahmacharya effortlessly in admist of so many sensual objects of gratifaction which one is persuaded to bow .how can one root out passion so that there is no future possibilty of one in remaining aware of his future downfall and whats the guarentee that one will not slip again my personal experience is that there was a time when i thought now I m clean from passion but months later and now that I realize that were temporary and I now I m addicted to lust craving I have tried many techniques but Im facing limitation practically If I could get a techique to practise brahmacharya I would be grateful to you. I have highs and lows on this path its like walking upstream or crosscurrent the moment I loose my hold or firmness or slight negligence leads to a big slip and lead to downfall on this path is uphill as it seem to me it is tough not easy but it seems so easy to our saints how to develop firmness to this path to get a grip hold on to brahmacharya i do excercise and I have intellectual knowledge of path but practical essence is missing how can I learn to practise brahmacharya I have been slipped hundred a times and miserabally often I think Im obliterating nature force thats why Im getting my mental state disturbed I have stirred the bahmacharya issue so many times that I m not enjoying my age Im often shy and take time to open up I dont drink or smoke nor I party like my rest friends but I find people who not stuggling like me and carelessly n recklessly breaking laws seems to be more happy then me and apparently enjoying life and sex what is the use of compressing your desire which outbursts are like sleeping volcanoes at a given time how can
I reach a state at which I can be assured of no set back again at this path though also how is implementation of execution can be carried out in this vunerable loka plane of existence also whats the importance of brahmacharya to young adults like me even older peoples now a day fall prey to vasanas and are addict to passion and in proceess of uprooting passion am I not becoming passive and inhert to my surrounding IM not becoming impotent as there is no utiliztion of sexual organs one of my friend says long term abstinence leads to stopping of sperm formation and dystrophy of sexual organ if I were to marry in future after 3-4 years can it lead to have conception issues to my wife I dont want to marry now but definetely in future and also dersire to raise kids can my abstinence of present will affect my future .and also I wanna know modern medical fails to notify any importance to celibacy no one dies after having sex or get retards after sexual act too much over indulgence may be in my opinion a fruitless and empty habit and addiction to sex and urge to sex and realtions in my conception are noted demerits of sex .why does saints sages scriptures disapproves it controlled healthy realtion with wife for kids is brahmacharya where there would be in my faculty to search such an non demanding selfless wife who will agree to have sex for kid and not for sake of gratification also how can I controll my karma. Is masturbation a sort of adultery or a normal expression to subside passion within a give time framwork or episode medicos say it is natural behavior but I have read that even animals dont masturbate but only procreate .some supports this thoery as animals are of inferior intellect and knowledge man have superior faculty of experience and cognition so why do men masturbate very often .studies in a survey says 95%of young population masturbates rest 5% are lying that they don't are there practical practitioner how can We know that they are not lying .recently news on so called saints who teaches celibacy are caught on grounds of misconduct how can one believe and evoke faith if that happens so . there are so many questions nobody have personally guided me in this path rather this conception of brahmacharya people think rather responses and mordern ideologies are often discouraging .Im studying for my post graduation are there evidence celibacy enhances and boost memory in my according bramacharya is essential to get poised mind which evntually i find through my experience after masturbation there is personal guilt that kills me from inside if i were not have knowledge on that note would the same guilt persist. also can brahmacharya be practically achived as a long term that is for 3-4 years andafter having kids for life time what if my parterns disapproves of it will it not affect relationship with my wife if so it can ruin my wedding how can I explain my partner in future .I wanted to be brahmachaya but in my houshold life is this practically possible how to convince my future wife. Also I have not done sex like a relationship with anyone till date an Im healthy regularly do my gym I good looking yet my friend often tease me that Im spoling my life is that .so my ideology is I cant spoil someone life .I wanted honest and commited relation that only a wife can give .Is it normal to have ocassional voluntary masturbation if desires are strong and they dont let u sleep and lurks your mind i find unless i dont masturbates these desires dont seems to subsides and worsens on further refrain and sexual desires increases its peak @ 3-4 day of refraiment from sex if i continue to observe bramacharya my condition get worsen day by day I get erection on single desires often it leads to public embrassment the desires go strong after refraiment from sex why so please reply Im curious hope your answer rightfully enlighten my path.
thanks a lot for your precious wisdom on this path
1. Taking up regular and honest 'Yoga Sadhana'- Practice of all the Anga-s of Yoga (to realize the self) is the way to get established in unbroken Brahmacharya.
2. Complete eradication of lust is achieved only when one irreversibly realizes the self.
3. 'Saints' attained sainthood only after eradication of their Ego-s. Till then, they were one among the masses. All saints went through as much suffering as anybody else. Some even went through more. It was not an easy path to realize the self. Till one identifies with the Ego, the journey appears very tough. Only when one surrenders to HIM and becomes humble does the Ego start to vacate. Hence strive to let go of the Ego.
4. The honest Brahmachari does not become impotent in marriage. The Lord assures him of progeny in marriage, if it is so destined. Leave these worries and surrender to HIM, trusting HIM completely.
5. The nature of the incoming life partner, as all other things is already fixed by destiny. Do you Dharma and leave the rest to HIM.
6. No saint & nowhere in scriptures has marriage and limited progeny been denounced. What is important, is to take up the practice, to realize the self, at the earliest.
7. Let go of what others say, don't say, do or don't do and first strive to realize you self.
Go through each and every past answer slowly and apply the said methods for a few years honestly. If this much is done, everything will be taken care of by HIM and things fall in place.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)