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Celibacy/Abstinence/Want to end this evil Habit


Dear Dhananjay,

Let me explain my situation with this evil habit of masturbation.

As a teenager, I was relatively free from impurities and I did not indulge in this habit. While being a teenager and attending a public school, I attended a sexual education class as it was required in the curriculum. Soon after, I became curious and after hearing lectures on private parts, I watched pornographic videos out of curiosity and learned the vile habit of masturbation when I was 13 years old from these videos.

I have fought with this habit greatly and when I failed to fight this habit with my willpower, I took recourse to religion. I tried to end this habit when I was 14 or 15, but I failed. The longest I've maintained myself without recourse to the evil habit was 14 days.

Years later, while in my first year in college, I read Swami Sivananda's book "How to get varaigya." I believe this book ignited a longing in me to live a spiritual life, as the life of the renunciation someday. I stopped being familiar with women, and avoided illicit conversations. I also prayed that someday I would be removed from this Maya and attain Self-Realization someday.

As I took to this resolution that I would start living a spiritual life to the best of my ability, and I would attain self realization, I began mercilessly cutting off close relations with women. Keep in mind, before this, I did not have physical touching with women. Although I interacted with them, I always could not bring myself to a closer point of familiarity, because I was scared and it seemed disgusting to me.

It is strange indeed. I am considered by many women, to be a very handsome man. I experienced many temptations, many outreaches, by many women, but I have succeeded in resisting them, and not getting familiar. When I walk into any classroom or any public situation, I get stares and smiles from many, many women. Even older women stare at me with a lustful look when they believe I am not looking. Women have even called me (and they do not know my phone number beforehand nor have I ever talked to them) asking if they can have sex with me. While walking in the street, I get stares and smiles from women all the time. I cannot walk to the college grocery store without getting a few lustful glances from the women who work there or who are shopping at the same time. Sometimes, I think this handsome face is a curse because it creates more attention from women for me, and is a hazard for me. Nonetheless, I have been successful in resisting women, talking about women and etc....

I always have the name of god on my lips (that I've chanted for the past four or five months). I've noticed that I am much more calm, happy, peaceful and never, never get angry whatsoever. It is strange indeed. I am no longer a social slave, or slave of other people. Whenever I meet a woman, I prostate myself before her and see my god in her. I believe I am well established in this behavior. Now I want to tackle this evil habit of masturbation.

I plan to wake up at 4:00 in the morning everyday and start sadhana. I see in your previous answers that you have suggested Hatha Yoga to some people. Can I supplement this with bhakti yoga (Meditation on Isvara, Japa and Kirtan?) or will I create an undesirable effect in the body?

1. At whose beauty are the women staring at? The source of all beauty is the Atman (a part of the Lord) and not the body or the individual. A fraction of the beauty of the Lord shines through the medium called the body, just as the light of the Sun is reflected on a mirror. It is foolish to think the mirror itself as the source of light, when it is the mighty Sun who is the source. Minus the power of the Atman (which leaves the body at death), the same body becomes a stinking, luster-less corpse which the same women will run away from. Then the truth is there for all to see. The same applies to the body of a woman as well. It is all the play of Maya.

The Ego is the fool here which has to be shown its place by trampling it under the foot of 'Viveka' (wisdom) gained through 'Gnyana' (knowledge of the absolute truth).

First let go of the Ego which assumes itself to be beautiful, when the reality is that it has no independent existence, being an illusion. The first thing a Brahmachari should do is put in all efforts to remind himself of the falsity of the 'I-ness' or Ego which assumes doership. As this practice becomes established, one becomes humble and is unaffected by insult, injury, pride, success, failure, attention, attraction, revulsion or any kind of reaction which the unreal world subjects oneself to.

2. Go through each and every past answer very slowly, absorbing the essence and putting those methods into practice. Let it take a few months; there is no hurry. The gist and the inner meaning behind those answers should become a part of your system. That thorough and deep should the study and implementation be. If the same is sincerely resorted to, both masturbation and other impediments at Brahmacharya will be overcome without doubt.

3. Hatha Yoga can be coupled with Bhakti Yoga.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


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