Celibacy/Abstinence/Did I loose everything after my break?
Hare krishna Dhanajay sir, how is your sadhana?Hope very good.
Sir, my name is nabin and age 25years and 3 months old. Sir due to bad samskara I was addicted to daily musterbation from the age of 15 to 21. I always wanted be free from Abrhmacharya. Because from my teen age i knew very well Brhmachrya is essence for matrial and spiritual success. Sir, after completeing 10 months of Brhmacrya, I broke my vow knowingly and musterbated due to frustration. The reason was inspite of practising Brhmacarya for ten monts I don't have confidence to pass CA exam(IPCC) and failed exam 5 times. Sir you know CA exam requirs a lot of confidense,memory and concentration because it contains huge syllabus. Second reason is my friends,classmates and others who was scoring less mark than me achieved some successes in CA exam with out practicing brhmacharya.
And third reason is during this 10 months brhmacharya I gained memory and concentration less than my expectation. No doubt wet dreams reduced a lot.Before my break was 1 or 2 a month.
Sir now what to do? Above 3 or 4 prime reasons of my break after long practice. Sir please excuse me if you find mistake in my above presentation because i am not highly educated in english.
Sir kindly give me advice in which direction i'll spend my life. I can only try my best to follow your suggested direction. Because I cann't get success overnight. One last question that did i loose all my gained concentration and memory of 10 months of brahmacrya after this musterbation? One thing let me tell you you doing very nice job and helping us. May krishna bless you alot. Again please forgive me if you find any mistake in my presentation.
1. When you have spent many lifetimes accruing your present nature, how can you expect to change the same in a few months? It takes many years to annul past tendencies which stand in the way of achieving a goal.
2. First let go of your expectations. Expectations are the greatest impediments to any objective. One should perform his Sadhana as his duty without expectations. Be patient and continue with the honest practice without worrying about success or failure. Our right ends at effort. The results are not our concern. That is determined by a higher power which is running the show. In the course of time, you will progress in the right direction.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)