I've been practicing Brahmacharya for over two years now. I have never seemed to be able to maintain it for more than 30 to 40 days and in recent months I have had the misfortune of failing once a week.
1. I've read all the books and I don't believe theirs a web site out there on Brahmacharya that I have not visited. But still, despite my study of the subject I fail. Adverse thoughts just come to me whether I want them to or not. Those evil impressions are very strong in me. A part of me longs for love but another part longs for God and Brahmacharya. I'm trying to choose Brahmacharya but uprooting the impressions seems a far away and distant possibility. What am I missing?? How can I further motivate myself to succeed in Brahmacharya?
2. Worship of a deity or saint is an appealing topic for me. I've read that by worship we send pranic energy to it which it in turn uses to send us it's own higher spiritual prana...Is that right? I cannot seem to decide which saint or deity to pick however...I do like the idea of Hanuman as he was noted as a perfect Brahmacharyi (Although I'm sure all the other saints and Gods are too). How might I better decide which/whom to pick? Also, can you go into some detail about the pranic energy stuff when worshipping? Would it be a big help in maintaining Brahmacharya??
3. Do you know any good techniques for dealing with anger??
1. Regular & uninterrupted Sadhana (practice), coupled with Vairagya (dispassion to the world), with surrender to the Supreme is the key. Pure love is Brahmacharya and pure love is itself God. It is lust which is contrary to Brahmacharya and not love.
Till the strong, past Samskara-s (impressions) & Vasana-s (tendencies) which induce lust and sexual appetite are still strong and alive, the possibility of a break exists. You have reached a stage where some of these seeds have surfaced; hence the frequent breaks. Turn a blind eye to these downfalls and persist with proper and uninterrupted Sadhana, on a regular basis, as suggested in past answers. You will soon tide over the storm and residence in Brahmacharya will stabilize by regular Sadhana.
2. Whether the object of worship is a deity or a saint, all energy comes only from the Supreme. Deities or saints also function from the power received from the Supreme and are hence a manifestation. Hence the wise direct all their devotion to the Supreme alone, although it is allowed to worship HIM through a deity or saint. The self within oneself is no different from the Supreme, just as the self within a deity or a saint is also the Supreme.
What is worship? Letting go of one's Ego and merging one's mind into the Lord is worship. Nothing else is. Now the Lord is both within (as the self) and also without as the infinite Supreme. The Lord is all pervading. One might worship him in any way he likes. Mere rituals or external signs of worship are of no use if one does not give up his Ego. Through worship, the Ego is displaced & one comes closer to his or her self and therefore gets better access to qualities of the Atman (self). It is then called as receiving energy from the higher power, for the sake of understanding.
Choose any form that appeals to worship, always remembering that it is not the form itself which is the object of worship, but the Lord within it as the source. Do not worry about Pranic energy. All such thoughts are a waste of time. One's focus should be on nullifying the Ego and merging with the self/Lord, following which, Prana inundates the physical and mental vehicles automatically.
3. Anger is a part of the Ego. It has no independent existence. Negate the Ego and anger will disappear by itself.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)