Celibacy/Abstinence/What is the point of existence?
My humble greetings to you sir
I have lately been feeling miserable as i have failed to make any decent headway in the path of Brahmacharya, every time the semen leaves after i foolishly masturbate hell is manifested in every way possible into my life. So now my motivation is nigh non-existent, and i struggle with the most mundane of tasks. ( I have been trying seriously now for roughly a year at Brahmacharya, i cant seem to go much longer than a week, which is humiliating and deeply embarrassing for me to admit.)
I have tried to apply the lifestyle and practices you have mentioned in past answers, but i live in a very busy, crowded and noisy place, which means that it is almost impossible to mediate or practice the aforementioned lifestyle changes.
How can i remedy this?
Coming to my main question, what is the point of life/existence?
I am approaching this from a non-religious perspective, sir, you see I was raised as a Christian, but do not really follow it any more.
My path to Spirituality and subsequently Brahmacharya began when i had a realisation, I realised that God was all and i had a deep love for the Father (I personally refer to God as the 'Father') and then had a deep longing to be one with Him, and abandon all the false worldly distractions.
Sadly this has faded over the roughly 1 year since i began or had the experience of desiring to dedicate my life wholly to God.
Now i am wondering what the point of this illusion is and how to get back to the blissful state.
Please, sir, can you offer advice and help to me so that i can get back to the correct path?
Thank you very much, i offer my humble gratitude.
1. To realize oneself as not being the one with objectives; to realize oneself as not being separate; to be complete and content in the self as the self; to be oneself as oneself, which is the self of all selves... irreversibly & forever is the purpose.
2. The path will be known, in the course of time, further to unfailing efforts.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)