Celibacy/Abstinence/Self Realization


Hi Dhananjay.

A very good day to you. I have a few questions to ask if you do not mind.

1) It is vital to let go of one's ego. I believe I am selfless person, but even this statement can basically conclude that I am indeed selfish & acting on ego. How can one forgo ego completely? I often care what other think of me; this is not about feeling proud of myself; but I fear I might have hurt them in any way; that makes them to think and act as such towards me. I wish for a harmonious and peaceful relationship and I often care about what other needs and feels. Does this still concludes if I am acting/thinking based on my ego?

2) I have read on Atman, Brahman - and the concepts (Tat Tvam Asi, Aham Brahmasmi). But I feel loss and hopeless when I indulge in sexual activities. I understand that the ultimate reality is that everything is Brahman and the body/relationships/material we possess are merely Maya - that Atman are the product of the Brahman. I however wish not to lose the relationship I have; would I still be able to experience Brahman i.e. the Almighty (the energy).

3) I am in a relationship with a sex worker. I am 25 whilst she is 20. She is forced to do so as she is a single mother & it is poverty driven. I love her as she does on me. I understand her work & her life completely. She states that she will stop this work when we are married. Is it a sin to get married to a sex worker who indulges in sexual activity every night? I have also read that a person who sells their body (divine shell) have their souls tainted. Is there any way that she can recover from this if she has complete remorse?

4) Based on my understandings, to feel God, one has to be in a peace & relaxing state; with emotions in check and the senses in control. However, I read that some states the senses should not be rewarded. For instance, listening to good music. However, I find mental peace & the ability to concentrate when I listen to soothing music (rejuvenating). When I concentrate and relax (mental & emotional peace); I feel happy and I feel I should keep others around me (other Athma) happy; this includes animals and plants. Kindly clarify me if I am moving in the wrong direction of feeling God by rewarding my senses i.e. listening to a good soothing music that alters my thinking. For your information, is it wrong that I think by others (soul/Athma) being happy; I am feeling God's presence & energy.

5) Is there any particular food that could enhance the Ojas production? Does exercising & eating protein (soy made) depletes the Ojas? Does protein (natural or man made) contribute towards Ojas production or depletion?

6) Could you recommend me where I can find a personal Spiritual Guru that could guide me on the ways of experiencing Brahman? Some say that the Guru will find me instead when I am ready. Some recommend me to go to yoga & meditation centres. I am however sceptical about this. I would love to learn about this myself; but  I feel of getting trapped with my own ego.

7)  At times my selfishness (thinking of personal benefits) are triggered when I have negative emotions or when someone act negatively against me (forsaking/sacrificing me) for their benefits/enjoyment. I have tried thinking if they are happy, I can be happy too. But this gets detrimental that they eventually starts bullying me making harsh joke out of me. Is there any way for me to go around this?

I look forward humbly with great enthusiasm for your reply. I hope best that your answers could enlighten me. Some of the questions above has been haunting me from leading a productive lifestyle.

1. The Ego is to be overcome through Sadhana & surrender to God.

2. One gets married to that Jiva, which is destined to be one's life partner. There is nothing more as regards this.

3. No profession is lower or higher. However, certain professions make a deep dent in one's well being, at the physical, mental and karmic levels. The way out is to fix one's mind on God, perform Sadhana and indulge in actions without attachment.

4. While there is no harm in listening to pleasant music, one should not get overtly addicted or attached to the same, for the beauty of music also comes from HIM alone and not merely from the music or the singer, who are all mediums.

5. Ojas increases with an increase in the time spent at merging the mind into the self. Not by other means.

6. Perform the Sadhana shown to you by the Lord. The Guru will be known at the appropriate time.

7. Being quiet, in the inner silence is the way out, for all situations.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


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