Celibacy/Abstinence/Distracting visions during meditation
I know you say not to share experiences during meditation until final liberation. But this has been bothering me for a while and I am not sure how to deal with it properly.
Sometimes times during meditation it seems like the breath almost stops and it feels like there's a force sucking me into void. But right as when it's about to happen, I have a vision of someone, and it looks so real that I get distracted. Like the other day, I was meditating, and it seemed like the mind had come to a thoughtless state and my mom yelled my name loudly from her bedroom. I got up to check on her, but it turned out to be a hallucination and my meditation was disturbed and I couldn't get back to thoughtless stat. Another time I was meditating as I was going to sleep, and my breath totally stopped and I was getting slightly excited and again my mom appeared and started a conversation with me. I knew from other days experience that this was not my real mom and just a hallucination, so I ignored her and kept meditating but my breath had resumed but very slow. The vision of my mother tried to pick a fight with me and said "I am going to get you married to this girl.." and kept yelling and came close. I was afraid that she would touch me and disturb me out of meditation, so I imagined a force field around me and imagined that Goddes Durga and Lord Hanuman are protecting me. Then as I continued meditating....a flock of pigeons appeared and surrounded me. The came really close to me and I knew that the forcefield was not working. One pigeon came and ticked me under my armpit and I couldn't stay still from tickling sensation, so I moved and suddenly all vision disappeared and then I couldn't get back to breathless state. Thing like this has happened at least 4-5 times where visions disturbed me. Can you please give me any tips on how to stay focused when such visions appear?
thank you very much,
much gratitude and love,
Persevere in proper Sadhana, as described earlier patiently. With time, the past Samskara-s which manifest as these visions will gradually break down and vacate, following which meditation becomes steady.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)