Celibacy/Abstinence/Roles & Sadhana


QUESTION: Dear Dhananjay,

I have been practicing brahmacharya for around 8 months now. The first two months were punctuated by a physical stimulation that nearly ended in voluntary spillage but thankfully I have realized my mistake. I now conduct regular vichara and sadhana in hopes of attaining HIM.

First though, some pressing queries linger.

First, I have ambitions. I want to be one who influences thousands. I want to be rich. I want to help charity. The "I" thought is strong in all of these. Therefore, I decided to merely play roles: I would perform the role of an influencer, the role of one who strives to be rich, etc. But who am I feeling? There is one who desires these things. Is it OK to have desires and preferences? Even in the path of self-realization, one has to WANT the supreme knowledge, is it not? Kindly clarify how I can pursue ambitions while never losing sight of the fact that all comes from HIM, the atman. For example, Prime Minister Modi is a shining example of brahmacharya transmuted into intelligence and magnetism-however, he still seems power-hungry and has definitely not attained realization of the self. I am quite confused here.

Second, it seems like we must create egos in the present world and the yogi will never attach himself to the ego, merely playing a role instead. I create egos based on my desires to attain wealth, influence others, and give to charity. But WHO, WHO has these desires? Do these desires stem from past karana sharira or from our lives, which we are moulded and influenced from a young age as to what is good and bad?

Third, while I have now realized the disgusting nature of most of the sex acts, I am still occasionally severely tempted by the idea of oral sex. I do not understand this-the mouth is a dirty place and a barren one. I ask you this: I am not a married man. My desire to realize the self is true. In order for these desires to be extinguished, should I explore them with a married partner and then discard them OR will entertaining them only make the desire burn more and more?

Fourth, who defines duties? I know instinctively that I have a duty to help parents or a duty to help others or a duty to get goods grades as a student, but who ever defined duty? Could they not be arbitrary? E.g. in some country it could be one's duty to murder others or something. What are the duties I must follow?

Fifth, Sivananda once told Krishnananda "Stay here till death, I will make kings fall at your feet". The statement seems a but ego-driven for such a great saint, does it not? Also, does this mean that following the brahmacharya practice one will get influence and power to help others?

Awaiting your response,

ANSWER: 1. The primary focus should be on realization of the self, asking nothing in return for the performed Sadhana. When this much is maintained through unbroken Sadhana with surrender to the Lord, those desires which are to be experienced will be sated, in the required manner, at the destined time.

2. Desires concern the Ego and not the self. They stem from the seeds of past karma. He who remains honest in the quest of the self has his desires fulfilled, as destined by the higher power.

3. Do your Sadhana to realize the self, asking nothing else in return. HE will decide which desires are to be fulfilled and which are to be annulled, so as to not trouble you.

4. Each's duty is unique to him/her. The honest Yogi will come to know his, as a by product of his Sadhana. One needn't worry.

5. The intention and purpose behind a statement cannot be known through textual reading of the same.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Unbroken sadhana will undoubtedly be performed, but we must make decisions on a day to day basis as to what we will do. E.g. do I study business or biology? When making these choices, one realizes that due to the causal sheath there are definitely vasanas liking certain things.

Although I will do my sadhana, can I pursue these things I want? For example, I will have to make some money to support myself and my parents. I want to be influential. etc. Is it OK, in other words, to pursue what one is inclined to doing?

My hope is that with 1) sadhana and 2) unexpected performing of things I enjoy I will eventually shave the mind and have no moha to anything. Is this the right path?

1. One can pursue any creative activity that one finds himself inclined with, but without attachment or expectation for the fruits, in a detached manner.

2. Yes, Sadhana and surrender to the Lord, accepting that which he gives cheerfully, alone free's the aspirant from suffering, which comes in the realm of the mind.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


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