Celibacy/Abstinence/Difficulty on the Job


Dear Sir,

At my job, I am having a difficult time with my boss. I perceive her as a bully with a terrible temper. Other people have left the job the because of her. Many people talk and complain about her behind her back. I find myself becoming very angry, even hateful towards her. I am aware this is an unhealthy state. My question is whether it is better to remain in this situation and learn to remain calm and composed in the face of abuse or better to leave and not allow myself to be treated this way. There is also the option of confronting this person about their behavior but I don't know if the result would be long-lasting. This woman's bullying reminds me of my father's behavior. Perhaps this is an opportunity to learn to deal with this history. Though, I am not sure I am up to the task.


Ron D.

It is not everyone who is fortunate enough to come across such a situation. A situation, which gives a wonderful opportunity to kill the Ego and get close to the Atman (self).

1. One may try to leave or try and continue. It is up to the person. However, one can neither quit till the time to quit has arrived, nor stay on after the time to depart has been reached. Things happen as they have to, governed by the laws of destiny.

2. Knowing it to be such, be calm and unaffected, doing your duty with sincerity and commitment, to the extent possible, as an actor playing his part in a drama. Let people talk as they want or do as they please. One should not get affected by external factors, but learn to hold on to the self and be at peace, wishing good to all, even in the most trying of situations, forgiving those who wish one bad or cause trouble.

The wise Yogi earnest at realizing his self, takes his enemies as manifestations of God, sent to destroy his Ego for Enlightenment. While the enemy himself does not know it, the Lord who dwells inside one and all (including the enemy) as the self, knows everything and is working for one's good and nothing else.

Delink yourself from the Ego and be divine, always holding on to the self, wishing everyone good, harboring no ill-feelings. The Ego is the Yogi's real enemy and enemies who hate you hate your Ego. So one's enemies are really one's true friends, for they hurt the Ego, thereby providing one with the opportunity to destroy it and get rid of it.

When such an attitude of forbearance, duty-mindedness, respectfulness, well wishing to all, forgiveness & love is practiced unconditionally with people without fail, the Ego starts dissolving into fragments, to be gradually replaced by an aura of great strength, power and divinity. The person becomes engulfed by the purity of divine consciousness which is nothing but the self. He then resides in the highest state of auspiciousness and no harm can touch him.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."

Bachelors degree in Engineering.

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