Celibacy/Abstinence/Results of Practice?


Humble Pranams Dhananjay-Ji,

I am a long-time reader of this page of yours and I am striving to be a true brahmachari.

I hasten to ask you three questions, all of which are very important, going forth.

1) Although I am getting better at conquering lust by inducing vairagya of the mortality of the flesh cage called the body, I am still somehow intensely impassioned by the idea of receiving oral sex from a woman. I also have sudden cravings, despite being of heterosexual orientation, to give oral sex to a man. What is the reason behind these two? How to conquer?

2) I am a student at a good university and I consider brahmacharya to be essential. I am smart and hard-working. However, I am dejected when I view students who are geniuses around me who both score better marks due to natural intelligence AND enjoy sense pleasures.

I do not wish to compare. However, will my intellect and grasp of knowledge become better as my brahmacharya improves? I have noticed that of late you have turned away from your direct answers and instead say "practice honestly, that which will come will come". Why this change? Should we not be certain that with proper brahmacharya memory and intelligence will increase?

3) It has been a month and a half since practicing brahamcharya and my improvements in intelligence and vitality are small. For example, I still need as much sleep as before. At times I doubt that progress is being made and sit down disappointed. In times of time frame, how should I motivate myself? When will I notice more results? Perhaps by the end of a full year? I realize all is possible only with God's grace. BUT I would like to get an idea of things to expect at different time frames, roughly speaking.

Yours truly,

1. It takes time and patience to root out the seeds of past Samskara-s. Ignore all cravings of the non-self and hold on to the self through honest and uninterrupted Sadhana. Evverything else will be taken care of.

2. One's right ends at effort. The results are not one's concern. That, HE decides, based on HIS own grand plan and one's past karma. Hence do your duty and be content with what comes.

Intelligence and all other abilities increase naturally through the practice of correct Brahmacharya. This is certain. However, the extent varies, depending on factors mentioned in 2.

3. My dear friend, is it rational to expect the Sun and the Moon further to a month or two of practice, when there have been millions of births of 'Abrahmacharya' in the background? Let go of this hurry and be patient. Things happen as they should, at the right time, and not before.

Samskara-s and Vasana-s which have fortified over innumerable past existences take their own time to dissolve. One should not worry about the results, for that is not in one's hands. It is effort alone which is in one's purview. The Lord does not give success so soon, just because the Ego wants it. Real success comes when there is no longer any Ego to desire it .

Practice the said methods in an unbroken manner for a few years, without expectation, with pure love and surrender to the Lord, without asking anything in return. The answers to your queries will be realized through direct experience.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)  


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."

Bachelors degree in Engineering.

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