Celibacy/Abstinence/Permanent Celibacy


I need assistance with a complex dilemma. I am currently in a relationship and I have decided to become celibate for moral reasons, and as a guaranteed strategy to prevent pregnancy. Unfortunately, there is no method of birth control that is 100% effective, so if I decide to get married, I will continue to live a life of celibacy. Having children is absolutely not an option for me (long list of reasons). I do not need sex and feel perfectly content with never participating in the act again. The ramifications of the act are simply not worth it at all. My S/O is very unhappy with the situation, but refuses to leave the relationship (the door is open). I am constantly made to feel bad about my decision, which is unfair to me. I do not believe I should have sex only to please another person. I want to live a moral, sex free life in peace and serenity. Furthermore, an unplanned pregnancy would absolutely ruin my life to the point that I would no longer want to live. Celibacy makes me happy. Am I wrong for doing what I know is best for me?

So why don't you break up with him, if the problem is that he refuses to leave the relationship?  Sex is a normal part of a relationship and especially of a marriage.  If you don't want to have sex, the problem is yours, not his.  I don't see how never having sex is a solution to anything.


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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


When it comes to celibacy/abstinence, I am more likely to point out the downside of being sexually abstinent. I don't advocate abstinence as a long-term sexual lifestyle. Abstinence is a good thing when the alternative is being sexual in an indiscreet manner, but it is a bad thing when a healthy sexual lifestyle of being monogamous with a partner is available. I frequently answer questions in the masturbation and male masturbation categories on AllExperts.com. I take all questions pertaining to sexuality.


I am a category expert in the sexuality area on AllExperts.com and have written the web site HealthyStrokes.com for over thirteen years.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality from one of the leading educational institutions of the world.

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