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Celibacy/Abstinence/Queries on life situations


Dear Dhananjay,

1) The question is from the perspective of a manager dealing with an 'enemy' in the form of a subordinate. Great hatred has developed. The entity in question will be referred to as 'friend' for the purpose of this query. Should one avoid delegating to friend, doing as much as possible by oneself without internal malice? Delegation of work yields grumpy friend.

2) When instructed to delegate to friend by a superior, can instructions be conveyed without the slightest greeting or friendliness but without rudeness or internal malice?

2) Should one do his own housework eg. Washing clothes, sweeping etc. and are there any benefits in this?

3) What should one do when offered fried prasadam such as crumbly samosas (which cannot be cut in half), cooked by impure people? And what should one tell the person who offers it?

4) Isn't the only way to prevent wet dreams rejection of hatred, anger, irritation and jealousy?

5) Can a year of abstinence without wet dreams yield superior (not yet superlative) memory?

6) With reference to 5) above, what happens if one marries after such progress with strictly procreative intercourse?

1. The role of a manager is to politely, yet firmly instruct his subordinates on their duties, as formulated by the organization or his position. The dharma of a subordinate is to follow the instructions of his manager completely (even if he does not like the work or may not agree with the concept).

A manager who does not enforce what is expected of him indulges in Adharma.
A subordinate who does not follow his manager's instructions indulges in Adharma.

Hence do your duty without emotion, professionally, calmly and report to to the higher ups on the course of disciplinary action to be taken, if the subordinate does not perform his expected duty. This is as much as the manager is supposed to do.

2. One may do so if necessary, if one finds time. Doing one's work instills a sense of independence, which helps overcome attachment & dependence on others, so necessary for the Yogi.

3. Take a small bite, in the thought of the Lord. No harm will occur.

4. That, when coupled with unbroken Sadhana (following all the 8-anga-s) meticulously, for many years, turns the Yogi into an Urdhvareta, following which wet dreams disappear.

5. Yes.

6. Procreative intercourse (with one's lawful wife, per wanted child) comes within the purview of Dharma. No harm is accrued from the same. After the birth of the child, the couple may take to unbroken Brahmacharya to realize the self, following which they attain to all the 'Purushartha-s' (goals of the human existence) and eventually 'Kaivalya' (self-realization).

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)  


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


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