Celibacy/Abstinence/Siva & Sakti


Namaskar Dhananjay,
I seek to understand how liberated beings view marriage & progeny.

I have never got why Shiva whose is mahadeva/adi-yogi/foremoost ascetic/chita bhasma dhari/who adorns himself with garland of skulls & serpents/who burnt kaam-dev to ashes/who is triguna teetha chose to become a householder in the first place when he married sati.The puranas state that Brahma requested adi shakti to incarnate as dakshputri & get Shiva married.This seems childish & there should be a deeper implication to this as the story of kartikey comes later when sati takes rebirth as parvati .

I believe unless one understands the need to balance masculine & feminine forces inside one's being brahmacharya is but a distant dream.Marriage is a metaphor for that need.

Also i believe Swami Vivekananda has said a naisthik brahmachari or an unmarried brahmachari is always held at a position above the married rishis & householders.  

So pls provide your insights as to how should an aspiring urdhvareta whose desires liberation within this lifetime approach marriage if the decision is left to him.

1. From the one & only Lord (also called Purusha, Siva, Parabrahman, Supreme etc.), who alone is 'Sat' (real), who alone is 'Satyam' (truth), within whom everything is contained (Isavaasyamidam Sarvam) & who pervades everything (Sarvam Khalvidam Brahman), originates 'Prakrti' (the component responsible for manifestation & creation), which then manifests into world & form, perceivable by the mind & the five senses, via Maya (the power of illusion).

This creative principle is also termed 'Shakti', the feminine principle. The world, body, mind & matter are all the offshoots of Shakti and therefore unreal illusions. Just as images appear on the cinema screen, the Lord, through Prakrti, creates the world & mind illusion on the screen of Pure consciousness. In reality, Shakti, the feminine principle (represented by Goddess Parvati) has no independent existence, bereft of Siva, for she has come from him, while HE has always been, is and will be forever.

The marriage of Siva with Sati is the symbolic representation of the union of the Ego (under the realm of Prakrti) with the Purusa (Lord), whereupon results realization. Therefore, Yoga (union with the self) is also called 'Sivashakti Samyogam' (union of Siva with Shakti), following which the Supreme alone remains, as HE always does. At the microcosmic level, this occurs to the Jiva when it attains to 'Kaivalya' (self-realization). It is all the Leela (play) of the Lord.

2. To whom does marriage concern? Who is higher or lower? All these concern the Ego & the body. Are the Ego & body real? Are you the Ego and the body, which are nothing but illusions arising from Prakrti? You are always the Atman (pure consciousness), an integral part of Purusha. It is one's ignorance which makes him assume he is the Ego and the body, which exhibit higher or lower levels, while one's self (Atman) is always one, pervading all beings. There is nothing lower or higher there. It is 'Satyam' (the absolute truth). The self within all beings, be it a human, animal, insect or a microbe is one and the same. THAT alone pervades everything. Therefore, the concept of lower and higher is unreal and hence non-existent to the Enlightened sage.

The realized soul see's his self in every being and all beings within his own self. Having merged with the truth, he see's the same everywhere.

In the Lord's Leela, different Jiva-s are given different roles. One is given the role of a house holder, while another is given the role of being single. One plays the role of a king, while another plays the role of a poor man. The Lord does not discriminate between roles.  Every role is viewed equally. A Jiva playing the role of the poor man is as dear to the Lord as the one playing a king. To HIM, all roles are one and the same, for the roles are unreal, while HE (who pervades all Jiva-s as the in-dweller within, is alone real).

Those who are unaware of Brahmacharya are at one stage of the Leela, while those who do and strive for it are at another stage. One is playing the role of a householder, while another is given the role of a Naisthika Brahmachari. As long as each follows his Dharma properly, both are equally dear to the Lord. All these stages only concern the Ego and not the Atman (self) which is ever liberated. The realized being looks at all other beings with equality, not concerning himself with lower or higher, which comes in the realm of untruth.

3.  Leave all decisions to HIM. If marriage is a part of destiny, HE will make it happen, at the destined time. Let go of the one who wants to decide and do your Dharma (to realize the self) correctly. When the one who wants this and that is forsaken, the self alone remains as pure consciousness. That itself is liberation.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)  


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


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