Celibacy/Abstinence/Social Interactions


Dear Sir,

This personality that I have is naturally shy, awkward, is easily irritated by the company of others, timid in front of women and men with large achievements, and generally appears arrogant and insensitive to the feelings of others. Nonetheless, I've been very sensitive to the opinions of others and what they think of me, that I've made sacrifices on my part and sacrificed my values on multiple occasions just to please others and make them think better of me (Loka Vasana). If a woman or a man makes a disparaging remark about me, I am extremely sensitive to it, and have been extremely sensitive to such comments.

As a result, my social interactions have not been the best. Over the past year or so, I've isolated myself for the sake of Brahmacharaya and achieving self realization. I realize that friends are your real foes, because they stand as a block on the path of realization. I am extremely conscious in front of others and I hate this feeling of self consciousness.

Often because of my sophisticated and unorthodox language and communication skills, women and men cannot understand my language and communication. When it comes to social skills, I have almost nothing, and I cannot read anything from social situations.

Sir, because of the role god has given me, I have to interact with others on two different occasions: Office and Social Situations that my parents force me to be in. How is a Brahmachari supposed to interact in such situations, especially in situations where one is supposed to interact with others, especially (A) women and (B) people who are naturally jealous, duplicitous and cunning?

What should be one's reaction when others are trying to mock him in front of others, to prove their self worth? How is a Brahmachari to react? And if one is insulted by others for no reason (or is brushed off), can one assume it a result of jealousy on the part of others? And why Sir, am I so sensitive to social interactions and what others think of me?

1. The world is nothing but a reflection of one's own Ego and past karma. There is no need to try and please the world in particular. What is required is to be oneself, comfortable and at ease, doing that which one is inclined to. Then, one eventually loses self-consciousness and experiences freedom and peace, which in turn lead to confidence.

Be polite, friendly, casual and yet to the point with all, be they men or women. Let the involvement be superficial and never real. Wish none bad. Take the world lightly, as a drama and never seriously. Let go of the Ego which suffers from inferiority, further to taking itself seriously. This is as much as one needs to do. This behavior ensures that one does not accrue negative karma, which comes from mentally or physically harming/paining others or wishing them bad. When a life of 'Atma Sadhana' is carried out in parallel, one overcomes all fears and tendencies of inferiority in the course of a few years.

2. No harm comes to the one who holds on to the self and wishes good to all. That which one gives another, is giving it to one's own self, for the self within all is one & the same. Therefore, he who wishes good to others, wishes good to himself. He who indulges in jealousy and cunning is burnt by the very same fire. The harm is to himself and not others. Simply ignore the situation.

3. Who is being mocked? Who is feeling bad? It is the Ego. The Ego is the enemy which the Yogi is trying to overcome. Hence the situation is welcome. God is working through those mocking you to unnerve and kill the Ego, while they themselves do not know it. It is a beautiful opportunity for spiritual evolution. When others mock or deride oneself, the Yogi should perfect the art of remaining calm and silent, not reacting & never wishing them bad, for it is the Ego which is being ill-treated and not you the Atman (self), which occupies all beings.

Sensitivity is the feeling experienced by the ignorant Ego and not your self. So kill the thief called the Ego and be at peace, as the self, blessed & ever in bliss.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)  


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


©2017 About.com. All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]