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Celibacy/Abstinence/Relatives & Absolute Brahmacharya


Hi Dhananjay,

I have several questions:

(a) My relatives, usually close parents, and extended relatives often harass me. My parents are extremely worldly and foolish in many regards, and to be honest, did not raise me properly, and often insulted me for my spirituality and my aloofness from association with worldly people. To be honest, they want to drag me down to a worldly life, and their very company causes me great misery. How should I handle them? What should be my interaction towards them? Whenever I talk to them or think about them, I feel pain. They are useless to me in many ways and do not offer liberation.

(b) Whenever there is a sexual thought in my head, and I divert it with holy thoughts or divine chanting, there is a rush of energy or prana as if it is moving from one part of my body to another. What is this? What exactly is happening here?

(c) I am willing to wait for years or lifetimes, if necessary, but out of curiosity, how long will it take for attraction to women to die in the waking state? So, when I walk in the streets, and I see a "Pretty" girl, there isn't a single sexual thought, and I feel nothing? (as Sivananda would say--established in Brahmacharaya?)

Awaiting your response.

1. Every circumstance one finds himself in is designed to help the Jiva move towards liberation. Situations where one has to deal with people of a dissimilar temperament help develop 'Titiksha' (endurance), by ultimately making one give up identification with the Ego. Hence look at the world as a dream, the 'I-ness' (Ego) as unreal, and hold on to the self in peace, whatever be the attitude and reactions of the world & its people, for that which is getting affected is the Ego and not the self.

A sense of respect & duty must always be maintained as regards one's parents, as one is forever indebted to them, for having served as the mediums in bringing him to this world.

2. Divine thoughts move consciousness towards the Sat (real), away from the Asat (unreal). The same is correspondingly observed as regards the movement of internal Prana also.

3. That state becomes natural and effortless, when further to long practice of 'Nirvikalpa Samadhi', the Yogi eventually reaches the last and final state called 'Dharma-Megha Samadhi', beyond which there is 'Kaivalya' (irreversible residence in the infinite and endless ocean of the self, also called self-realization).

Then, the 'Guna-s' (traits), responsible for cropping up of the Ego (and therefore the sexual impulse) are fully roasted and deactivated. The Yogi is then like a painted flame, always appearing ablaze, yet there being no trace of fire. He is the complete extension of the Supreme Lord, with no trace of the Ego.

Till then, the senses are under control, but the relish for the objects of senses remains. Downfall can occur even in very advanced stages if one is not careful. The relish is completely gone only after merger into the Supreme. The Yogi is then a Jivanmukta, liberated, while still occupying the body.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)  


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


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