Celibacy/Abstinence/Father died


QUESTION: Dear Dhananjay,

My only parent has died suddenly and young. I have no one now.  I am devastated.

1) Will he come to pick me after death?

2) I mistreated him sometimes but we still joked and loved each other all the time.

3) I have regrets. Does he love me?

Please answer directly. I am finished.

ANSWER: 1. One can neither come earlier nor leave later. Things happen as they are destined, by the laws of Prarabdha. The entry, stay and exit of every Jiva is fixed by the laws of karma, as directed by the higher power.

2. Death involves the physical body and not the Atman (soul) which has no birth and death. When the scope for evolution in a particular body, under a particular set of circumstances is over, the Jiva is made to exit the body, so as to prepare for entry into another body, under another set of circumstances, to further its evolution.

3. One should not grieve and lament at death. Death is a joyous occasion, where the Jiva, having finished its work in this body, is graduating into another body, so as to evolve and progress further, as per the will of the Lord. Grieving and indulging in sorrow confuses the departed Jiva, hindering its movement and further progress. It becomes an impediment in its journey.

4. The proper conduct is to wish it well and help it quickly move towards its next destination by maintaining a positive, bright and well wishing atmosphere at home. One can perform the after-rites, as prescribed by his religion, with a well wishing attitude. No effort should be made to get in touch with the departed soul or lament continuously out of bondage & attachment. Such behavior causes immense distress to the Jiva.

Let go of all the confusions plaguing the mind and do this much with love and respect to your father. The best outcome is then assured.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: 1) He used to do Lord Shiv Puja, yagna and Gayatri Japam from 3.30AM daily without fail. He also did free puja for people. He did his evening puja and died suddenly. How does this influence his outcome?

2) Please tell me if I will meet him after death. We had the deepest relationship.

1. A preferential and noble birth awaits the Jiva, which took the relationship of your father. Knowing it to be such, wish him well and let go of the attachment. Excessive attachment will work against his free release into the next plane. One who loves another should not come in the way of the other's progress.

2. My dear child, as stated earlier, one should not try to contact or wish to get in touch with those who are done with their stay in a particular body & circumstance. As a loving & dutiful son, your right ends with performing the after-rites with an attitude of well wishing, respect and detachment.

If you do this much, all that is to be done from your side, for now, is considered done. Do this much and continue with your Sadhana, realizing that the body is unreal, impermanent, a covering and only an illusion. Attachment concerns the unreal Ego, which mistakes the body and another Ego to be real, while the in-dweller (Lord) who resided inside was alone real.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


©2017 About.com. All rights reserved.