Celibacy/Abstinence/Utter failure in Brahmacharya
I am in a miserable ad pathetic state, as a result of constant sin and lapse (failure in brahmacharya) an depletion of the semen I am left utterly weak and have no desire to do anything.
I have almost non-existent confidence levels, am in a constant state of anxiety around people, cannot communicate properly with them etc
To make all this worse, as a result of this addiction to masturbation I become enraged at the slightest of things, a person merely looking at me can drive me to severe anger, in short all the typical symptoms one suffers when he fails in Brahmacharya/lives an evil life of sexual indulgence etc.
I feel like the lowest slime and have begun to hate myself, my life has become devoid of joy and I am unable to properly implement the correct spiritual practices -- and have little desire/will/ambition for them -- due to constant depression as a result of continuous sin and failure.
I wish to be totally free of all sex urges and desires, I have asked God to completely take them away, but it seems I still have them...
My life has become a miserable hell, and it is simply not worth living, I realise this is due to my own mistakes and sins etc.,
but I just cannot seem to break free of the addiction to masturbation, whatever techniques are possible/available I would try them to overcome this evil vice.
Much of this I believe stems from boredom, as I am unemployed and thus have very little to do; a viscous cycle.
Any advice you can give me to completely free myself of the sex desires I am very grateful for.
"God helps those who help themselves". Without applying unswerving efforts, however daunting be the obstacles, one cannot progress. It is the higher power alone which does everything; however, one has to merge his mind into IT (which is called surrender), so as to allow the higher power to take over and work from within. Else, life becomes one endless battle.
Apply the methods suggested in past answers by going through all the answers completely and work with the thought - "I do nothing. The Lord works through this body & mind and HE will take care of the matter". With such an attitude of submission and humility, apply the Yogic lifestyle advocated. Obstacles surface due to the presence of strong past karma. They will eventually dissolve as regards the one who perseveres.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)