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Celibacy/Abstinence/Doubts related to practice


Dear Sir,
My humble obeisance,

Before i start asking questions sir, i would like to give a glimpse of my life and the past happenings.

I am a boy 22 yrs old. About a year ago i was not spiritual and led a life of masturbation,smoking and marijuana. However some bad occurrences in my life led me to become a loner and slowly i started yoga.
While i was still in that bad phase,I found out that people around me can hear thoughts,not sure about other persons thought but especially mine,. Maybe they have reached a certain level of realisation, may be not. I would notice people laughing at me when i passed around them as my thoughts were audible to them..even some children. While others would look at me with disgust, and yet some others who would comment at my thought ,though in no sense it was helpful, rather it felt like intrusion of privacy and i got really perturbed. Later I entered into relationship but later broke up on account of infidelity on the partner's part. After some months I began the life of Yoga and have been following it ever since without any physical break though mental breaks do occur,albeit involuntarily on account of hearing people talk about sex in debasing manner and subsequently my past tendencies flaring up. Now I begin my questions hope you be so merciful to answer them.

1. I experienced bliss after following roughly 1 month of perfect brahmacharya(in thought,word and deed). {As per the knowledge obtained through reading past answer,this is the case with one layer of sanskaras having been burnt way}. Then after a few days this bliss subsided and I started feeling normal again. However i noticed that my mind was prone to getting influenced by impulses again. So my question to you is that :Will my mind be always prone to influences when one layer of sanskars dissolve and another rise? Especially prone to a greater other words :will each succesive layer of sanskaras constitute stronger vasanas as compared to the previous one?

2.With regard to people with telepathy, or my case with uncontrolled telepathy and people hearing thoughts, I have seen that :1 Whenever I do mental japa while walking to the point of actually beggining to smile due to japa's influence...ladies stare in my direction some with seriousness, some with amusement, some with a look as if watching an animal speak(that is to say looking as if me doing japa(mental) is something new and bewildering). that makes me feel self conscious, apprehensive and my head gets lowered as if i had committed some crime. Other times , i would start expressing my anger through my looks, as to why do you care if I am remembering my lord. So my question is what to do in such circumstance..obviously i want to continue with my japa, but their look makes me feel as if something is wrong with me.What is the correct reaction?

3 Again  two instances related to this thought reading or being read problem(After entering brahmacharya). Once i was going to fetch some food ...looking down on the ground and silently chanting Lord's name, when all of a sudden I automatically looked up and noticed two girls staring at me, i looked up feigned anger,the two girls looked away and i resumed my walking while looking down,japa however,having been disturbed because of becoming self conscious. Later when i returned home i recalled that incident ,I remembered that their bodies were shining brightly as in golden. My question here is:were they spiritually advanced beings sent there to help me, or devas or Krishnas representation as I was chanting his divine name? Sir with all due respect, I know that these things are mere distractions even if they are devas ,and dont worry I wont fall into their temptations as i remember Patanjali saying that one should deny invitation from the celestials if offered. I just wanted to have your opininion about the nature of these persons.

Secondly, the day my first session of brahmacharic bliss ended, and new sanskaras were surfacing, I had a very high fever and went to college thinking it to be my duty to do so, ignoring pain and pleasure, however on reaching the college another mind reader friend of mine, said it is not wrong to have sexual feelings about one's own mother in this age, it happens to everyone. Ofcourse those days i was trying hard to attain brahmacharya by trying to focus only on the job at hand like study, however sometimes i would accidently glance at or would notice the bare feet or calf muscles of family members and a stirring would start which would be brought back in control in no time with vairagya and viveka.And 4 years earlier i had stumbled upon a stash of incest porn on internet and used to watch it a lot. However this had been taken care of much before the advent of my yoga practice. My only question here is what was the purpose of that person to mind probe me and comment on some aspects which had been taken care of and cause mental disturbances and waves again??  of course i cant ask him,for he will straight away deny any possibility of mind reading and label me insane.

4. Many of these mind readers talk openly about sex going so far as to encouraging it and saying one who refuses sex cant get anything in life. Ofcourse to me it has no effect ,and have learnt to distance myself from these people somewhat..even though these people are helpful to all,  but i m thinking about those people to whom these teachings are preached might be lost to spiritual life. It is as if I am living in the region of Uttar Kuru ,which as per mythology is the place where free love(i.e sex) is sanctioned by the ancient rishis.
  What to make about these people, not in a judging way ,but as to being partially realised(here mind reading on me and communicating mentally with others) and teaching others about sex, benefits of masturbation and encouraging to look at women's curves etc.??
5. Since i am practising yama and niyama .Sometimes little ants get trampled beneath my feet and i feel sad, both out of compassion and at the loss of my determination to perfect ahimsa. Though the main problem starts when near college entrance ,there are many ant hills, and i have to look down to avoid trampling sometimes stoop my back even,when suddenly i feel conscious and notice people staring at me.. then my ego wants to look up pretending i do not care about the ants,whereas i want to keep looking down hoping people wont care.This battle b/w me and ego tears me up. Also when mom asks me to kill a mosquito which has wandered inside the mosquito net , i pick it up and throw it outside the mosquito net, without harming him, receiving taunting in return. Pray tell me what to do in such  situations both near the college, while on road, and at home inside the net.

6. I read in your recent post that this practice is to be kept a secret,and telling someone else leads to a fall. In my case the person who I was in relationship with called me and desperately asked me to go back to her, after refusing her some times,she asked me for a valid reason as to why I would not relent. So i told her that I have taken a lifelong vow of celibacy for attaining God. Later she rang back at my phone and tried to dissuade me from practice  saying god is just to make one feel optimistic and what not . But I stayed firmed to my decision and didnt budge. She then asked me that who do you see god in...referring to the fact that once I had attributed her to having been sent by god to make me realise about the transient nature of relationships.(Yes...via mind reading ,but she interpreted it incorrectly) My question here is sir, Will I fall from grace on account of having divulged about my vow, even though it was done keeping in mind the yama of truth i was following and also in hopes of that she wont  trouble me on hearing this from me?? celibacy and religion and spirituality according to her are archaic and she wouldnt ,thus,would like to associate with me in the future. True though after the last mentioned talk with her ,she hasnt tried to dissuade me or asked me to come back.(This was during the stage the second layer of sanskars has emerged..which I beieve I still am in.)

And my last question ,O gurudev, would be if there is a difference between Dhiryaretas and Urdhvaretas in nature or is it simply the difference according to previous acts.In one semen has never been spilled(Urdhvareta) whereas the other person had been a prey to lustful thoughts. Though I know that both will reach the same final stage i.e. self realisation at perfection of sadhana.

My humble gratitude to you for  taking out the time from your life to aid Spiritual Aspirants seeking self realisation,such as me.

Note: I hope you do not consider me to be wasting time here on account various references to telepathy, which does not occur in the day to day lives of most people.

Saadar Pranam!

1. Each successive layer of Samskara-s are subtler, as compared to the previous layer. They move from gross to subtle. The intensity depends on their strength and may vary. The Yogi should turn a blind eye to all these things and persist in unbroken Sadhana.

2. Prayer should be internal and not external. It is enough if one mentally holds on to the Lord, surrendering all actions to him alone, with a sense of devotion.

3. Let go of such illusory mental imagination and focus on your work. Such occurances have no substance, being a depiction of one's inner desires.

4. No one is mind reading. It is one's own mind which is monkeying around, snowballing imagination.

5. It is not practical or feasible to walk looking at the ground, avoiding each and every creature. What is necessary is to maintain a general attitude of harmlessness towards all beings and creatures, wishing them well. Do this much and be at peace.

6. Make it a general rule in future, not to mention or divulge details to others, concerning Sadhana.

7. Both are stages in the journey of the Jiva. A Jiva which attains to the stage of Urdhvaretas very early may have gone through the stage of Dhiryaretas in previous existences through hard Sadhana. None of these things are to be worried about. One's Dharma is to strive to the best extent, to merge the mind into the self, now, in this existence. Technical titles or states are not to be worried out.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


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