Celibacy/Abstinence/Nature of Reality, Self, and Unalloyed Bliss
I have a few doubts which I would be most grateful if you could clear.
Slowly, as practice progresses, I have noticed that the power of buddhi grows stronger in quelling the vicissitudes of manas. Before, manas-the mind-jumped like a monkey and the body was dragged along. Now, the problem still persists to a large degree, but I am able to apply a modicum of discretion in restraining the monkey-like mind. Will this power of buddhi continue to grow until one day, the mind will not affect me one bit?
Second, during meditation on the formless, non-dual reality, an immense bliss pulses throughout the body. My breathing becomes shallow. I have two worries. First, how is this spiritual bliss different from the pleasure of savoring a candy or engaging in orgasm? This spiritual bliss is highly addictive and I keep wanting to return to that peaceful, zen-like state but I fear that it is simply another addiction which floods the brain with dopamine and seratonin. Kindly clarify if I am on the right path.
The other issue is that during illness, I lose the will or inclination to reside in that supreme state of spiritual bliss. So, when people speak about the bliss of atman, isn't this merely a physical sensation? When the body does not cooperate, there is no bliss. So how is HE different from any other pain or pleasure response given that the body is the medium which experiences the bliss?
Lastly, I have noticed that while I am able to properly control the mind when I see a number of beautiful individuals, there are a few particular women whom the mind simply does not go off. These individuals cause craving and obsession and the mind-for whatever reason-does not let them go. Have I met or interacted with these jivas in past life? Or is it simply common for the mind to crave certain objects or women randomly? It is frustrating as a yogic aspirant.
Tat Vam Asi - Thou are That
1. With honest and unbroken Sadhana, the Avidya (Ignorance) surrounding the Atman gradually breaks down, and the mind takes the nature of the self itself. Thereby gradually increases self-control.
2. One should stop thinking and make the mind free of all thoughts, including the taste of bliss in meditation. That alone leads to Samadhi
3. One's consciousness is attached to the finite body and perceived though the senses initially. This is called 'Dehatma Buddhi' (I am the body assumption). It gradually reduces with merger of the mind into the self. Then, one perceives himself as separate from the body.
4. It may or may not be the case. The Yogi has to fight these battles and overcome them one by one.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)