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Celibacy/Abstinence/Spiritual Marriage compatible with Brahmacharya


Beloved Dhananjay,
I have met someone, with whom I believe I can build a family. She is spiritually minded, and relatively free from wordly desires. I would be grateful if you could bless me with clarification for the following questions:

1. What is role of Man in the building of a family? What is the role of Woman?
2. Is any level of physical intimacy (be it without attachment) appropriate while a yogi remains dedicated to brahmacharya to realize the self? (ex. Cuddling, Hugging etc.)
3. Are life partners allowed to provide each other with spiritual guidance, emotional support etc.?

I have read the following from your past answers:
a) In regards to physical intimacy, "the ardent yogi steers clear of such tricks of maya." The reason i ask is, you have also stated "Initially in marriage, physical intimacy is appropriate if used to form an open, emotional bond between the two partners." It is hard for me to imagine a successful marriage where none of this is helpful or required atleast in the initial stages.

Warm regards.


1. The role of both man and woman in marriage is to respect each other as divine individuals & let nature take its course towards establishment of a family through progeny.

2. Sexual activity required to bring forth a child is valid within marriage. It is holy under such pretext.

3. Yes

4. That is for aspirants who are done with bringing forth progeny and have thereupon taken up a life of strict Brahmacharya to realize the self. It does not apply to newly weds, who are yet to make a family.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)  


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."


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