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Celibacy/Abstinence/Interaction with the opposite gender


Hello Dhananjay,

I have been practicing celibacy for some time now.I am more attractive to women, as I find them taking more interest in me.At times I run into trouble though.For example, I get onto a train carriage and a woman smiles at me.I ask if I can sit with her and we have a nice talk.She asks me for my phone number, and leaves.She calls me next day, but I become fearful that I have acted impulsively, and that association with her will lead me astray, so I don't call her back and I feel bad because I really would like to see her again.This is a reasonably common pattern with me.Can you please offer your perspective on this and any advice on the matter.

Another thing is my desire to help my family members and also other people with their personal problems.For example, I notice my sister is suffering in her relationship with a man who at one point told me that porn and masturbation is 'normal' and 'healthy'.It pains me to see her and others suffer, and at times I fear for her safety at the hands of a potentially violent man.I try to offer guidance but feel quite helpless and it affects my sense of calm to do so.Should I try to stay out of others problems unless asked for my help?Please help me to find some clarity with this.

Thankyou very much for your help.


1. The interaction is to end with the return of a polite smile. Taking it further is the mistake.

2. Do that which is felt right at the given moment and be quiet. There is a higher power watching everything. It will arrange for things as they have to occur. One does not have to take doership.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)  


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Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.


The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."

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