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Celibacy/Abstinence/Troubled by Homosexuality

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Question
Dear Dhananjay,

I am 20 yo, and recently found out about Brahmacharya after a porn addiction that lasted from 12-20. In this time I lost a lot of vital energy. I was never sexually attracted to men growing up but my addiction caused me to distance myself from women and now many think that I am in fact homosexual. I have always wanted to grow up and have a wife and kids, but the pressure to be gay is getting to me. Homosexuality seems unnatural but these days people feel that one is pretty much born that way. I also don't feel as manly as the men around me so I'm wondering how I can regain my masculine energy through brahmacharya. At the moment I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally weak, especially since I broke my practice last night after 2 weeks. Not eating meat these past few weeks has also made me lose weight and thus made me feel weaker. Homosexuality is also frowned upon in my native culture although I'm now in America. I really do no wish to be gay, but do I have a choice? What must I do to purify my mind and heart? And how should I deal with those that insistent that I am gay?Thank you in advance.

Answer
A few years of unbroken practice with consistent merging of the mind into the Atman (self) will solve the issue. Adhere to proper practice and turn a blind eye to everything else. You will be assured of peace and progress.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)  

Celibacy/Abstinence

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Dhananjay

Expertise

Questions concerning the practice of 'Brahmacharya' to know the self, & the means required are dealt with here.

Experience

The term 'Yoga' is a derivative of the Samskruth verb 'Yuj' which refers to union. 'Yoga', also called 'Brahma vidy‚' is the eternal dissolution of the individual 'Aham' (Ego) into the Atman (self) for 'Mukti' (liberation). Mere indulgence in '¬sana' or physical postures is not Yoga. ¬sana is only one limb or 'Anga' of Yoga. The eight limbs viz. Yama, Niyama, ¬sana, Pr‚n‚y‚ma, Praty‚h‚ra, Dh‚rana, Dhy‚na and Sam‚dhi are the means to Yoga. Brahmacharya or spiritually based continence is one of the important components of 'Yama'. 'Brahmacharya':- "Brahmani charyathey ithi" - "To surrender one's Ego and go with the will of the Almighty."

Education/Credentials
Bachelors degree in Engineering.

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