hope you are doing well. I need your opinion. I am 1 month left until full year of celibacy. During that time I have been meditating twice a day for 10 – 15 min without skipping much sessions, exercising, eating somewhat clean and in general avoiding intoxicants outside of coffee. My mental celibacy is as strong as physical. Seemingly I try my best but lately I ve been experiencing severe sadness, almost depression alike, 0 confidence, apathy, weakness and all sorts of emotional turmoil that is affecting my daily life. No Fap crowd call it ”flatlines” but I am almost one year in it and at that point I’d hope it would of passed already. I am contemplating ”release” but I don’t want to make rushed decision so I need your advice, pep talk, motivation or whatever one wants to call it.
Is it normal part of the path or it’s a clear sign I am over done it? What should I do? If I release I am sure this issue would come up again after next time I’d go long enough so I am thinking perhaps regular cycle where release once it gets unbearable. Or am I doing mistake and should persevere.
I would be very thankful for your insights since I a close on the verge.
It is normal for the Sadhaka to go through oscillations of the mind and body, depending on the nature of his past karma. Though it may appear for a few years that no progress is being made, large blocks of karma would be gradually fragmenting and dissolving under proper Sadhana within. It is a battle all encounter. There is however no cause of worry as regards the one who surrenders to the higher power and perseveres unfailingly. Light eventually comes at the end of the tunnel.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)